Rags to Riches
by Horses of Shadow and Night
Summary: Alone in the world, Alice comes across the dry dock where the great ship Titanic is being constructed. After being found and taken in by the ship's designer, she thinks luck is finally on her side. When the ship begins to sink, will her luck run out?
1. Chapter 1

A sandwich, a beautiful glorious morsel, sitting right there next to the biggest ship in the world. The sunlight reflects off the half built ship, shining the dying rays of sun onto the half eaten delight, that sits there mocking me. I haven't eaten in almost a week and suddenly, as I make my rounds around the ship looking for food I saw it, sitting up there! My only problem is, the sandwich is very very high up, and I don't think I'll be able to get it.

My name's Alice, though in my current situation I've been calling myself 'Al', a boy's name. Why? Because I'm dressed as a boy, hiding out in a boy's world! My hair is carefully tucked up under a cap I keep low on my face, so nobody will notice I'm a girl, I can't be discovered. My current location is Belfast Ireland, in some dry dock I forgot the name of. The only thing that brought me here was word of a big ship being built, a ship that when completed will be the biggest ship the world has ever seen. It's name is Titanic.

I figured this would be the perfect place to hide out, with a ship like this being built, nobody would notice me. The ship is large enough to avoid people, when they're working in one spot, I merely hide out in a completely different spot. It's like a game of hide and seek, only the consequences of being found are certainly not fun. But I haven't been caught yet, and if I'm right I believe I've been hanging around here almost a month, maybe a little more. That seems to be a clear sign that it's safe for me here.

My day starts with getting up, usually sleeping under the massive structure, praying that it doesn't fall on top of me. I begin wandering around the ship, waiting and watching as the workers begin to arrive, beginning their work on the ship. Around noon, it becomes clear where they will be focused on working, and those are the places I avoid for the day. The day passes slowly some days, quickly on others. When the whistle blows and the workers go away, that's when I quickly zone in on the places they'd been that day. More often than not, one of those foolish men abandons their lunch, or drops a piece of bread off the top of the scafolding. This is my food for the entire day, a one meal, I guess I don't mind.

Lately though, nobody has left anything! Not a crumb! Maybe they got yelled at that they need to pick up after themselves, the slobs. So one week without food and then today by chance, I see it! The beautiful sandwich that has caught my eye! I must have it! I must! My stomach has been paining me with the hunger! But it's so high up! Standing next to the ship, it doesn't look so high, the scafolding platform it is perched on is not even a fourth of the way up Titanic's side! And yet to me, a small girl hardly 14 years of age, I believe I'd have an easier time climbing a 2 story house to get the sandwich than climbing this thing! What if I were to slip and fall?

But I'm so hungry, surely that sandwich would be worth the risk, worth the effort to climb up there! It looks like it's worth it! From where I'm standing it looks barely touched, like the worker never got a chance to eat it because he was called to do something. That settles it then, I'm going up there to get it! Grabbing onto the metal bars that support the high platforms, I begin to haul my way up towards it. As I climb, I repeat the words 'Don't look down' to myself, like a mantra. The sandwich is in reach now, I reach up and grab it, holding it in my hand. Oh it's such a sight to behold!

"YOU LAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" a voice yells. Startled, I jump, the sandwich falling out of my hand and plummeting to the hard ground below. And I, follow not far behind it. The sandwich splatters into oblivion the minute it hits the ground, and I believe I can almost say the same for myself. The breath has been knocked right out of me, I have to take a breath though! Oh god, that sandwich in my hand so looked worth it too. I feel something sticky and raise my hand to my head, realizing my cap which has been concealing me, is gone, and when I bring my hand down front of my face, it is covered in warm red liquid, oh good god!

I think that man who yelled at me is coming! I have to scram out of here fast before I'm caught! I get to my hands and knees quickly, but regret it in an instant as horrible pain rips through me! It feels like I'm being stabbed! I collapse again, taking deep breaths, I have to remain calm! But the man is coming closer! I see him out of the corner of my eye! I have to go! I have to go! I can feel the panic rising in my chest, urging me on dispite the pain. Once again I get to my hands and knees, forcing myself to my feet. I barely make a step though before I'm on the ground again, rolling on my side and drawing my knees up to my chest, into feedle position. I've never been in so much pain before! All for that sandwich, that beautiful sandwich, which is no more. I can see it splattered not far from me, it's enough to completely shatter my heart.

The man is so close now, but my vision is getting a little dark around the edges. I have to get away though, if he catches me I'm done for! But I can't move, hardly a muscle! Defeated, I lie there and listen as footsteps come closer and closer and closer. I close my eyes in fear of what is coming to confront me now, but I'm caught by surprise as a gentle hand shakes my shoulder. "Young lady? Can you answer me?" he asks, he doesn't sound angry, he doesn't sound like he's going to throw me out.

I swallow, there's a weird taste in my mouth but I ignore it as I answer him "Yes sir". He turned me over so I'm lying on my back, facing up at him. If I wasn't hurting so much I'd be admiring how handsome he is, even with concern etched all over his features. "What do you think you're doing here?" he asks me, I once again have to swallow as I try to speak with him, for some reason I can't get the words to form, it seems so difficult "Starving" I reply, it is the god honest truth, I was starving here, my eyes wander to the poor remains of my failed effort.

His eyes follow mine and he looks at the sandwich briefly before looking back down at me "You couldn't buy a sandwich? You had to come to my ship and steal a sandwich from my workers?" he asks. I nodded, I had not a penny on me, otherwise of course I would buy my own sandwich! And I'd buy a new dress since I outgrew my only one a year or two ago, and I'd buy a place to stay for the night too! And a nice bath! Oh the things I would get if I had money!

Everything is beginning to grow fuzzy, but I try my very hardest to fight it. If I answer all the questiosn this man feels the need to ask, maybe I won't get in as much trouble. Besides, who knows what will happen to me if I were to blackout. Would they throw me in the ocean? Would they hand me over to the police? I whimper in pain as he touches my head "You've got quite a gash there. Where are you parents?" he asks. I shake my head "No family sir, I've been living here for over a month on my own".

The man says nothing for a while, as if he's absorbing everything that is being thrown at him. I glance over at the ship, he called it his ship, I wonder if he likes his ship as much as I do. Me and that ship are pretty tight now, I swallow again before choking out "Your ship is..." I pause as pain rips through me again "the most amazing thing I've ever beheld. When I heard about it, I had to see for myself. And when I did I..." it's getting a bit hard to breath "couldn't leave! I had to see it finished! But I needed to eat too, so when your workers..." another pause so I can catch my breath, the man is patient, comforting almost "left their leftovers I ate them". I can't say anymore, I just can't say anymore. He hushed me "You'll tell me more later, for now you need some medical attention".

My vision is darkening some more, I can't let this happen! I must stay awake! The man gently picks me up and a cry escapes my lips, I can't help it! It hurts! Why couldn't I have the sandwich lord? Why? It was such a nice sandwich! He's carrying me up to someone, a woman, she's pretty. But I don't get a good enough look at her as I'm forced to close my eyes, the pain is too much. I just wanted a little food, just a sandwich, only a little bite of a sandwich! I would have been happy I swear! The world goes dark on me and my last thoughts are not on the sandwich, or the mysterious people who have taken me captive, but are directed towards Titanic, this will be my first time not sleeping under her in a long time. I bid her goodnight before I lose my senses completely.

* * *

Mr. Thomas Andrews, that is the man's name. Apparently he designed that big ship I've been calling home. He has been nothing but nice to me since I woke up, apparently quite a while after my tumble. I tried to say I was sorry for tresspassing, but before I could say a word he hushed me and said HE was sorry for scaring me and causing me to fall, and lose my meal. Since that moment I've decided I quite like Mr. Andrews, I like him a lot.

He told me I was quite lucky, although breaking ribs isn't exactly what I'd consider lucky. He gave me a bowl of broth in exchange for information about myself. I would have told him even without the food, but the prospect of a warm meal overwelmed me and I ate like an animal the minute the bowl was placed before me, as if he would suddenly change his mind and take it. My father used to play cruel jokes like that on me, giving me food after a hard day of working then suddenly he'd take it from me and give it to the animals.

When the broth is polished off, I look up at him and sigh "Alright, I'll tell you the rundown on how I got to your ship now. You see, my Mother had been ill for quite some time. And about a year ago she finally passed away. My father, he never liked me much, said he didn't like payin to feed and take care of a mistake, he always forced me to do work around the house like cleaning and feeding the animals and such. He pulled a gun on me hardly a day later and told me to get out of his sight, get off his land, he told me if he ever saw me again he'd shoot me dead right on the spot. My father is a man of his word, and he didn't have to tell me twice to scram. I was gone! And so I traveled a while, I heard talk that they were building the biggest ship ever, curiosity got the best of me and I traveled here to Belfast to see for myself. Sure enough, I met your lovely Titanic, and I've been sleeping under her and living off her for almost a month!".

The poor man looks a disturbed by my story, and frankly, so am I. I've already cried all my tears over it though, and now what happened just seems to be a fact. It happened, and I just have to live with it, I don't get a choice in the matter. Deep down inside though, I wish for a guardian. During my travels I saw lots and lots of children, with mothers and fathers that loved them. I have never known that, never. And I would love to know what it feels like to have someone care about me like that. Maybe Titanic was my guardian for a while. Gave me shelter, food, everything I could need to be content. And I was!

Mr. Andrews looks down for a moment before looking back up at me "I don't want you to sleep under my ship anymore" he says. I sigh sadly at this, I won't cry! I won't cry! I feel my eyes water but I'm, oh, ouch sobbing hurts! I can't help it though! Not be able to sleep under the Titanic anymore? Where am I supposed to go? On the road again? I hate the road! I hate it! Food is harder to find! People are mean to me! Mr. Andrews hushes me and reaches a hand out, taking mine in a firm yet gentle grasp "I want you to stay here with me for a while, until you are well again" he tells me. My tears intensify, he's being so nice to me! I nod my head though "I'll do whatever you want! I'll scrub the floors! I'll dust! Anything!".

He merely shakes his head and smiles kindly "You just rest. You don't need to do anything for me" he tells me. I thank him repeatedly, he's a good man! Such a good man! The man I wish my father could be! A gentleman! Yes! That's the word! Gentleman! I never thoguht I'd ever meet one! I was convinced such a person didn't exsist but here he is, there is a gentleman in this world and his name is Thomas Andrews!

* * *

"I can't believe I'm looking at this right now" I say as I stand at the drydock, my fingers interlocked with Mr. Andrews. It has been two years since I was climbing platforms on the big ship, and in those two years my world has changed. I feel like Cinderella, like this is a fairy tale or some kind of dream that I'll wake up from. But it isn't! It's all real, I'm really standing here looking at this ship, with the man who designed it, and there's something else too.

Not long after the sandwich incident, Mrs. Andrews had a daughter, Elizabeth, or Elba as me and Mr. Andrews like to call her. Around the time she was born, I decided it was time for me to pack up and hit the road again. They had a baby to look after now, and I wasn't going to overstay my welcome. I felt better! I really did! The night I planned to leave however, I was called into the sitting room my Mr. and Mrs. Andrews, and they asked if I might stay with them, permanently. At first, I wasn't sure what to do, stay with them forever? After a moment of thought though, I decided to stay, and stay I have!

So now I have the family I've always dreamed of having. Two years we've been living in bliss! Mr. Andrews is the best father, kind, gentle, understanding. Whenever I have a problem, I know he'll be there to help me through it! And Mrs. Andrews, she's nice too, though a little more stern than her husband. She doesn't like seeing me miserable, but she was absolutely appauled to discover I'd never worn a corset in my life, and because of it my waist was a whole 22 inches around! She quickly 'set me right' as she likes to call it, reducing my waist to a mere 18 inches.

It was a painful proccess, especially after hurting my insides from that fall. I wasn't allowed to take that corset off either, she'd tie it so I couldn't undo it when I went to bed for the night, and she took away anything and everything sharp enough to cut the cords. My first few nights were especially painful, and I cried, sobbed even in frustration and discomfort. Mr. Andrews stayed with me on those nights, stroking my hair and cradling me in his lap as though I were his own flesh and blood, saying that everything would be alright. I believed him, and I still believe him when he tells me something.

Back to Mrs. Andrews, she's trying to teach me how to be a lady. My mother never taught me, because she was so sick, so Mrs. Andrews is trying to teach me everything I should have known years ago. Luckily for the both of us, we're quite patient, so the long lessons about how to behave at tea and things of that nature go by seemingly quick. I learn quickly, and I think I can pass off for a lady now.

Today I was given a break from my lessons to accompany my father to the drydock to see Titanic, completed and ready to set sail. He smiles brightly down at me "I'm glad you still like her, after all this time. I've been speaking with your mother, and she and I have both agreed that you're ready to go out now. You're going to accompany me on Titanic's maiden voyage" he tells me. I get to SAIL on Titanic? Sure sleeping under her was fun, but I wonder what she looks like inside! I hug him tightly, beyonds words at this announcement and he returns the embrace "I'm glad you're happy, but come along now. There are a few things I have to check over" he tells me.

We begin making our way down to the grand ship. But the entire time I can't help but think of how far I've come. One minute I'm a tramp, stealing leftover sandwiches and parading around as a boy, and now here I am today! Going to sail on the most luxurious ship in the world, a lady in first class, with the nicest man to ever walk the face of the earth. I've been so lucky, I hope my luck doesn't run out on me anytime soon.


	2. Chapter 2

The ship looks even bigger on the inside than on the outside! And it's not even done yet! We've been joined by the chairman of the white star line, Mr. Ismay, as we tour around the ship. He's like my grumpy uncle, and I see him almost all the time when I go out with my father. I always feel just a touch uneasy when he's around. I'm not sure why, because he's always nice to me, maybe it's because he reminds me of my father who threw me out, maybe it was his 'first impression'. I cling onto Mr. Andrew's arm a little tighter at the thought. He seems to take notice and pats my hand gently to reassure me.

First impressions make the difference. I had only been with Mr. and Mrs. Andrews a few months when Mr. Andrews let me accompany him to the drydock to look at the ship. I'd told him I missed it and wished I could see how it looked. I knew that a lot had probably changed since I last saw her and I hadn't been out much because of my injuries at the time. I was so excited to go! While we were looking at something Mr. Andrews got called away to check and make sure something was correct and left me standing by myself. Something caught my interest, I don't remember what, but I accidently knocked something over.

Mr. Ismay had been walking by and when I knocked that object over I caught his attention. Seeing me he scowled and began approaching me "What do you think you're doing here?" he asked, he sounded angry. I had no idea who this man was, I'd never seen him in my life! Startled, I took off running and he pursued me. Maybe he thought I was tresspassing, I'm not quite sure what he was thinking! But I ran like hell when I saw him! Our chase took us all over the drydock, and the longer and harder I ran, the more I hurt from the corset restricting my breathing and from my ribs which had only recently healed.

He couldn't catch me though! I couldn't let him! I was as terrified as I had been when I got caught on the scafolding. Only this time, I could run! And run I did! The man was red in the face from screaming his head off after me, telling me to stop! The louder he yelled it, the faster I ran though! I was so scared, it was as though I were being chased by the devil himself! The chase finally ended when tears clouded my vision and I tripped over my skirts. Mr. Ismay was absolutely furious, yelling that I was 'Tresspassing on White Star Line Property' or something like that.

He was probably about to turn me into the police when Mr. Andrews came to my rescue. I blubbered like a baby and sobbed into his shoulder, mostly out of fear. He took me home and calmed me, telling me the next day we would go back and have a proper introduction. I begged him not to make me go because that man had scared me so, but he did take me. Mr. Ismay was actually quite kind to me upon our reunion, apologising and offering to buy me ice cream. I forgave him for chasing me the minute the sugary treat was in my mouth. Yet I still haven't forgotten how terrifying he was that day, and I keep it in the back of my mind as me and Mr. Andrews walk with him along the deck.

As we're walking Mr. Ismay begins talking about the lifeboats "They're a waste of space Thomas! I don't understand why you must have them here cluttering the deck" he says bitterly. I take the opprotunity to speak up "Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?". This causes Mr. Ismay to laugh "This ship cannot sink!" he says, as though it's supposed to be common knowledge. With that he turns and walks down the deck ahead of us. We follow slowly behind and Mr. Andrews whispers in my ear "Don't worry Darling, I've built a good ship" he tells me. I believe every word he says to me, he says he built a good ship and I believe it!

After touring the entire ship we head home, where Mrs. Andrews is waiting for us with dinner on the table. This will be the last meal we eat together as a family, for tomorrow we leave for the trip. Mrs. Andrews smiles at me "Have you decided what you're bringing with you on the ship Alice?" she asks. I have been thinking actually, thinking of which dresses to bring. Yet I'm still not very sure about what to wear for what. I smile sheepishly "Actually, I could use a little help deciding what to bring" I tell her. She takes a little bite of food before answering me "After dinner we'll go and have a look. Is that alright?" she asks. I nod and the rest of dinner is a fairly relaxed event, Mr. Andrews talking most of the time about how pleased he is with Titanic. He sure is proud of that ship, and I don't blame him! There's most certainly no other ship like it in the entire world!

Once dinner is finished Mrs. Andrews and I go upstairs to my bedroom. I throw a suitcase onto the bed as she rummages through my closet, selecting gown after gown after gown. She separates the dresses into a few different piles before turning to me "Pick your favorites from each pile". I do as she says and she goes ahead and picks just about everything else, from shoes to jewelry, and then other things like underwear, corsets, and a nightgown. I watch in confusion as she manages to put so many things together, growing up I only ever had 1 dress as a time. Usually for long periods of time, until it was busting at the seams due to being too small and worn. And shoes? Ha! I hardly ever got the pleasure.

Mother finishes packing the suitcase and her eyes light up "I have one last thing for you!" she says. She practically runs out of the room and then returns with something behind her back "Hold out your hands and close your eyes" she instructs. I raise an eyebrow but finally do as she says, closing my eyes and holding out my hands. "No peeking!" she tells me, I try hard to hold back a laugh and she places something in my hands.

"Alright, you can open them now" she says. I open my eyes and look down to see a small silver necklace, with a fasinating pendent on it! It looks as though it's made of lace, and yet it's not! It's silver! How to they make it look like that, it must take them hours! And working that long must make it very expensive! I've never held something so pretty in my hands before, aside from that sandwich. "Thank you! It's beautiful!" I tell Mrs. Andrews. She smiles "I thought you might like it. You can wear it to dinner one night" she tells me. I nod, I'm not going to simply wear it for dinner though, I'm going to wear this all the time! I want everyone on that big ship to see it and admire how pretty it is!

Finally she helps me get ready for bed and I settle down for the night. In the morning when I wake up, I'll be boarding Titanic, and sailing to America. I wonder what is in America, I heard there was a statue in the harbor. But what else could be in America? I can only imagine, everyone says it's going to be amazing, but what could be there that would make it so grand? Are the streets paved with gold? Is the weather nice all the time? Is everyone charming and kind? I can only imagine what could possibly be in that country that makes it so famous.

Sleep doesn't come easily, I'm much too excited! I mean, America, Titanic, adventure awaits! But eventually I do fall asleep, and I'm awoken by my father, but I swear my eyes were only closed for a few minutes! It must be so early in the morning! I feel him shaking my shoulder, calling me gently, but I snuggle deeper into the pillows, his voice sounds so far away "Alice darling, you have to get up". What is he blabbering about? Can't he see I'm preoccupied? I'm pretty bad when it comes to sleeping, after sleeping on the cold ground under a cold iron ship, a bed becomes your best friend. And I absolutely adore mine! It's so warm and soft and comfortable! Every morning it's a challenge to convince myself to get up and out of it.

"Darling we're going to be late for boarding" he tells me. Boarding, boarding, OH RIGHT! The ship! My eyes snap open and I sit up, practically flying out of the bed and pushing my father out the door "I'm coming I'm coming!" I tell him. He seems amused as I usher him towards the door, but before I can get him out he picks up my suitcase "Calm down Alice. Don't get too excited!" he tries to tell me as I finally get him into the hallway and practically slam the door behind him.

Not a moment later I reopen the door, finding him still standing there. I giggle as our eyes meet "Can you please send mother?" I ask him. He pretends to think it over "Well I don't know, maybe you should get her yourself. She's always so grumpy when I wake her up" he tells me. I roll my eyes "Daddy she's been up for a while!" I don't have any idea when Mrs. Andrews gets up, but somehow she always manages to get up long before me! I've even tried to get up at crazy hours in the morning to beat her, she's always awake before me! Maybe she doesn't sleep, like a vampire, that could be it.

She comes up the stairs at that moment and smiles, giving Mr. Andrews a peck on the lips "Your coffee is on the table downstairs" she tells him. He nuzzles her affectionately before taking my suitcase downstairs. Mrs. Andrews pulls me back into my room and helps me change. As she pins my blonde hair up with a comb she begins speaking "Now you remember everything I taught you. Sit up straight, elbows off the table, don't talk with your mouth full". That's all the easy parts of being a first class lady! When she finishes with my hair I nod and look up at her "I remember Mother, don't worry I'll make you and Daddy proud".

We make our way downstairs together where Mr. Andrews is sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee and showing Elba a picture of Titanic in the newspaper. The 2 year old infant reaches out curiously with her tiny hands towards the newspaper. I wonder what she thinks of the big ship. Of course, she's never seen it in person, I hope one day she's able to though. We could both be on Titanic together, it would be so much fun! She's too young to go with us now though, Mr. Andrews says she wouldn't have any fun on the trip and Mother hates traveling anyway.

I pick her up out of her high chair and sit down, setting her on my lap "Elba I'm going to sail to America! On a ship that Daddy built! Isn't that exciting?" I ask her. She claps her hands and I run a hand through her hair, I won't get to see her again for a while. "And when I get back you better be able to say Alice" I remind her teasingly. She giggles and begins lightly tugging on a lose strand of my hair, I don't think she even understands what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that she can say 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' but can't say my name! She can even say Mr. Ismay's name! Well, almost, I was telling her about Mr. Ismay one day and she yelled 'Emay' when she saw a picture of him in the newspaper. She's a smart girl, little Elba!

Suddenly we hear a honking noise outside and Mr. Andrews rises, peaking out the window "There's the cab. Come along Alice, time to go" he tells me. Mother takes Elba from me as I stand and follow my father out to the cab. Before I leave though I turn and hug Mother goodbye, and kiss Elba on the top of the head "Goodbye Mother! When I get to America the first thing I'll do is write to you! I promise!" I call. I get into the cab and wait patiently as Mr. Andrews kisses his wife and daughter goodbye.

When the cab starts rolling I look up at him with the biggest smile on my face "Are you as excited as I am?" I ask him. He chuckles "That depends, how excited are you?" he asks me. He has no idea how hard it is for me to contain my excitement right at this moment! I don't know if I can even explain to him how excited I am, it's all so much and we haven't even gotten to the dock yet! "I feel like I'm about to burst!" I tell him, but that's pretty much the understatement of the century.

"I'll tell you a secret" he says, lowering his voice "I'm definately as excited as you are" he whispers, causing me to giggle. The cab pulls to a stop and Mr. Andrews gets out first, before coming to my side, taking my hand, and helping me out. I look up at the big ship and have to completely restrain myself from jumping up and down like a little girl. Just look at it! All painted and shiny looking! And I thought she looked amazing before!

Me and Mr. Andrews get on the boat with the rest of the crew, which thankfully means we get to bypass all the dumb inspections. Well, I suppose they aren't dumb, but I certainly don't want to have to go through them! When I was recovering from my injuries that doctor poking and prodding me was enough to make me hate doctors with a passion. If I see one on the street, when my father's not looking I stick my tongue out at them and make faces. What kind of person makes a living off torturing people? Even if they did help me get better, I still don't like them!

I stay on Mr. Andrews' arm as he leads us to our stateroom. While we walk through the corridors, I'm keeping track of everything I see. I'm going to go exploring on this trip! I learned the outside of this ship by heart, I want to know the inside of the ship just as well! And besides, it'll be my first time going off on my own in two years! Mr. and Mrs. Andrews have made it clear that I never go anywhere unless they're with me. I think they are secretly worried I'll run off or something, but why would I want to do a thing like that? They're so nice to me! They're my family and I love them.

Wow! Our stateroom is so pretty! The minute my father opens the door I am in the room, examining each little detail from the floor to the wallpaper. I want to remember everything! Who cares about unpacking look at all the stuff in this room! Ok, so maybe there isn't that much in the room, but there certainly is more than I've ever had before in my life. This stateroom is nicer than my old home with my sick mother and cruel father. I need to stop thinking about my old life now, is it wrong to not think about it though? No! No it's not wrong! I gotta stop thinking about it!

"Daddy, what are we gonna do first?" I ask him excitedly once I'm finished examining the room. He chuckles "Well you should unpack your suitcase, I'm going to see the captain" he tells me. Even though I was just planning to wander the ship alone, when I'm suddenly struck with the chance to be alone, I'm afraid. "Can I come? Please! I can unpack later!" I tell him. He nods, holding out his arm for me to take once again "Alright, I suppose you can meet the captain now" he tells me. As we walk down the hallway I begin asking every question that pops into my head. I don't know why I suddenly feel compelled to do this, but I do! Maybe it's the excitement of being on this ship! Or maybe I'm nervous, it couldn't be that though. What's there to be nervous about?

Mr. Andrews is patient as he answers every question I ask him "What's the Captain's name?" "Smith" "How old is he?" "62". He cuts me off "Darling, don't ask rude questions. I know you've a very curious mind, but please try to refrain from asking anything inappropriate" he reminds me. Oh yes, the age thing, I suppose that isn't any of my business. But the question just popped into my head and I had to ask. I look down slightly embarrassed at being berated already. I want to be a good girl, honestly I do! I'll just have to try a little harder! I decide to stay quiet until we reach our destination.

There was a boy I met once on my travels, before I reached Titanic's drydock, by the name of Alexander. He was a funny boy, rather tall and thin as a rail, only about 12 years old with dark hair and tan skin. He was playing in a creek with his two older sisters, Gabrielle and Hannah. I had to cross the creek in order to continue my journey, and the three of them saw me crossing and came up to me, asking me where I was going. I told them about the ship and the boy laughed "Did you know ship captains only drink tea the entire journey? They don't do anything else?" he asked me. I thought that seemed silly, wouldn't the captain be too busy giving orders and such to drink tea?

And yet that is exactly how me and Mr. Andrews meet the Captain. He's sitting drinking tea with lemon! I can hardly believe my eyes! Wouldn't I love to tell those siblings that they were right all along! Daddy and I join him and I'm introduced, the captain smiles at me before diving into a discussion about the ship with my father. As the men talk I quietly sip my tea and take a look around. All these classy looking ladies sitting around drinking tea, I'm so close to them! Actually, I AM them! There's so much I want to do on this trip! My first task, will be to drink tea with those ladies and convince them that a tramp like myself can be an upstanding first class lady. Well, they don't have to know the tramp part!

* * *

**A/N Hey everybody. I wanted to get this chapter up fast, but don't expect chapter 3 up as fast as this one! I have a musical festival this weekend among other things. Don't worry though, I'll update as soon as I can!**

**Thank you for the reviews! They modivate me to write faster! Please keep reviewing, cause it also helps me improve! Thanks for Reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

That evening finds me sitting on a couch in our stateroom, quietly reading a book I found in the ship's library. After tea with the Captain I finally managed to gather the courage to go exploring the ship. I found myself in a room, with walls covered in books! I'd never seen such a place in my life, and I had to ask the steward where I was. Imagine that though, this ship has a library! I've never even seen a library on land! Of course, not that any of it matters much to me, I'm not very good at reading. Mrs. Andrews has been trying to teach me a little bit, but the text in front of me right now is just a mash of confusing words that I can't make any sense of. That's not why I picked up the book though, I picked up the book because there was a picture of a horse on the cover.

I've always had a secret intrest in horses, but I've never been able to get up close to one. All I've ever seen is pictures in newspapers, and heard talk from the boys running the stand that so and so a horse won a big race on so and so a day. When I was boarding I saw a few horse drawn carriages, I wasn't going to tell my father to stop just so I could touch one of the animals though. Besides, they were working, I wouldn't dare approach them. It shocked me just how big horses are in person!

There are many different kinds of horses, at least that's what I assume this book is talking about. Each page has a picture of a horse on it, but each horse looks a little different from the previous one. Some of them are big and stocky, others are slim and fragile looking. Some of them are brown, some of them are black, there are even white ones! Like the kinds you hear about in fairytales! All of them are absolutely beautiful, as breathtaking as the ship I'm looking at them on. "What's that you're reading?" my father asks, oh, I didn't even notice him! I knew he was sitting at his desk writing in his journal, but I didn't notice him approach me.

"What are you reading there?" he asks again curiously, as though I didn't hear him the first time. I blush a little bit, embarrassed that he caught me looking at the book when I can't even read it "I wasn't reading it. I can't read" I admit "I was looking at the pictures". He sits down next to me, putting a hand on the book "May I?" he asks. I nod and he takes the book out of my hands, leafing through the pages. He smiles "I used to like horses when I was a boy" he tells me "I still like them" he adds after a moment.

He stops on a page with a pretty gray horse that has a black mane and tail and a white spot on it's head "I never told anybody, but I always wanted a horse just like this one!" he says, as he hands the book to me so I can get a better look. The name on the horse looks funny, not like any word I've ever tried to read before. I sound it out slowly "Th. Or. Oug. H. Bred" I say, that's a weird name. He chuckles "Thoroughbred" he corrects "They use them for racing. Have you ever seen a horse race?" he asks me. I shake my head, I've always wanted to!

Mr. Andrews smiles "When we get to America I'll take you to see the races then. I believe there's a new racetrack not far from New York City. Belmont's the name if I remember correctly" he tells me. Belmont sounds kinda like Belfast. I'll have to remember that name! Suddenly the clock above our fireplace chimes "You should be going to bed Alice, it's getting very late" he tells me gently as I yawn. I don't care if it's lady like, stopping a yawn is hard! I'm struck with a thought as I stand to go into my bedroom, how am I supposed to get out of this corset?

No really! Mrs. Andrews always gets it off for me! Should I ask my father? No! That would be wrong! I can't let him see me like that! It's improper! Beyond that! It's downright sick! But I don't really want to sleep in this corset, or this dress. And my hair! How am I supposed to reach up to get the pin out? I must be blushing bright red because Mr. Andrews raises an eyebrow "Is something on your mind?" he asks me. I swallow, should I tell him? "Daddy, I um, I need help" I tell him. He gives me another look and I point at my stomach. After a moment his face lights up in realization "Oh! Yes, I'll send for a maid to come in and help you" he tells me.

Wait a minute, a maid? Like some random stranger? I don't want to undress in front of some stranger! This is so embarassing! I merely nod to my father before going into my bedroom and shutting the door. Is this the cost of being a first class lady? I can't even get dressed and undressed by myself? Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill though, after all there could be higher prices to pay for living the good life. Then again, if you have to pay to live the good life, does that make it good? I would say that makes life kinda stink!

There's a knock at my door and I open it, seeing a shy little maid looking at me "I was sent to help you miss" she tells me. I open the door and let her in, she's quiet as a mouse. Maybe that will make things easier, if neither of us say a thing! She begins helping me out of my dress, and then unlacing my corset. This is so bizarre, I really would like to meet the woman who decided corsets were an absolutely nessessary if you were first class. When I was a little girl, I'd never even heard of a corset! And I certainly didn't need one when I was running around like a boy! Boys, they are so lucky!

When I'm in my nightgown I smile at the maid and thank her for helping me. She nods and slips out of the room quietly, closing the door behind her. The rest of this trip I'm not going to be able to get over how strange that is. I wish my mother was here to help me and not some stranger, and I wish little Elba was here too. I practiced reading at night when it was her bedtime. I'd go into her room and sit in the rocking chair next to her crib, and I'd read. They were easy books, with small simple words I could read. Just because Elba isn't here though, doesn't mean I shouldn't practice. I slip into the sitting room quietly, my father is too busy writing to notice me as I pick up the horse book and slip back into my room.

It's still open to the page with the grey horse on it. I'm going to read this and learn about the horse my daddy wanted as a little boy, about the horses he's going to show me in America. Maybe these are what make that country so amazing. I wonder what kind of sandwiches they have in America. I'm getting distracted! I need to focus on this book! I stare down at the page, I'll just read word by word! I can do this! Mother will be so pleased if I can manage to read this!

"First. records of the. En, gli, sh..." there was that weird name of the horse again! What did daddy say it was called? Thoroughbred? I think that's right "Thoroughbred, were pu, blish, ed in 1791". I give up on this book! I haven't even gotten through the first sentence and already I'm struggling! I don't even think I can piece together what I was just reading! I sigh heavily in frustration and I hear a knock at my door "Alice?", it's my father. I tell him he can come in and he opens the door "What are you doing?" he asks me "It sounds like you're talking nonsense to yourself".

He must think I'm mad! I hold out the book to him "I was trying to read this!" I tell him "Because I want to learn more about the horses you're going to show me in America!". He smiles before taking the book from me and placing it on the night table "You can read it tomorrow, tonight it's getting late" he tells me. I snuggle down under my sheets and look up at him "Will you help me read it tomorrow?" I ask him. He nods "Tomorrow evening, after dinner perhaps. I have to do some things during the day so you're going to have to be by yourself a while. Can you manage?" he asks, sitting on my bed.

I can't help but chuckle "Daddy, I managed just fine before I met you. I'm sure I can survive a day on the ship without you" I tell him. He sighs and stands up "I'm just watching out for you!" he tells me, kissing me on the top of the head. Before I can say anything to him he's already bidding me goodnight and leaving. Once the door is closed I close my eyes and huff slightly to myself. I don't know why, maybe I'm just in a cranky mood because I couldn't read that stupid book.

* * *

There's a knock at my door and I groan unhappily as I turn over in bed. "Miss! May I come in?" a voice calls, it's that maid from earlier! What is she doing here so late at night? She calls through the door again "Miss Andrews! It's nearly noon!" she tells me. Noon? That can't be right can it? I crack open an eye and look out the window. There is indeed sunlight attempting to stream through the window, but it's cut off by the curtains my father must have drawn last night after I fell asleep.

"Come in!" I tell her, sitting up in bed and stretching. The maid comes in and curtsies to me, that's pretty funny. I've never had anyone do that for me before, usually I was the one who had to curtsy. I rather like it, but it doesn't seem fair somehow "Please don't do that" I tell her as I hop out of bed. She looks confused "Do what miss?" she asks. I have to stifle a laugh "Curtsy like that. I'm not royalty. And don't call me Miss either. I'm Alice".

She smiles "Well, Mi I mean Alice. I'm Angelica. You may call upon me whenever you need me. Now, what are you wearing?" she asks. I look at the closet and begin shuffling through the dresses, there are so many pretty ones! Actually, they're all pretty! Once again though, I still don't know the difference between a day dress and an evening dress. I wish my mother was here to choose for me. This maid will have to do "Pick something pretty" I tell her, sitting down in front of the mirror and beginning to brush my hair. She pulls out a pink dress "Will this do miss?" she asks. I merely nod, trying not to roll my eyes as she calls me 'miss' again, if she thinks it'll do then it'll do!

Before I can even worry about the dress though, I'm told to stand and hold onto the bedpost so she can lace my corset. As she tightens each lace I cringe, it's so tight! My mother usually makes it pretty tight, but never too tight. I'm still 'in delicate condition' according to the doctor. If the corset gets pulled too tight I could reinjure my insides. Angelica yanks on the cords of the corset and I let out a cry "STOP!" I yell at her. Her eyes widen in fear and I feel bad for yelling "Not too tight" I tell her, lowering my voice. She blushes "I apologize Alice" she replies, at least she didn't call me miss!

Finally I'm dressed and ready to head out and explore the ship all by myself. Thanking Angelica, I head out into the hallway. Which way to the deck again? I walk down the hallway and come across another hallway that looks almost identical. What is this? A maze? When I see my father I'm going to demand maps be placed around the ship with little markers that say 'you are here', because I bet I'm not the only one getting lost.

Ok, here's a sign. Are you kidding me? I was going the completely wrong way! The boat deck is the other way! I turn on my heels and storm the other way, eventually finding my way up to the deck. Alright, now that I've made it here, it's time to go have some tea. Tea is pretty good actually, I didn't think I'd like it when I first tried it but I could drink a gallon of it now! I notice a group of ladies with big hats walking down the deck. My best chances are probably to follow them! So I do!

They are walking so slowly though! At this rate by the time we get there we'll be in America! Suddenly they turn into the ship and I stop, waiting for them to go inside and sit down before I join them. I wouldn't want them to think I was stalking them or anything, even though I was. I approach them once they're sitting and they look up at me as though I'm some sort of creature from the abyss. Mother told me to be polite and win them over by being a 'charming young lady', I smile softly "Might I join you for tea?" I ask them. One of them nods and I sit down, all eyes are on me for what seems forever before one of the ladies finally speaks up "I don't believe I've ever seen you before. What's your name?".

Just stay calm! They won't bite! I keep the smile plastered to my face as I reply "Alice Andrews". The lady who asked me the question raises an eyebrow "Are you related to Thomas Andrews?" she asks. Related? Technically, I am not. But he calls me his daughter, so how exactly do I answer that? I suppose the best thing to do is tell the truth "He adopted me" I answer at last. That wasn't so hard! Now they'll just sip their tea and talk about something other than me. Right?

Wrong! Everyone is still focused on me, and after more prying questions I finally just tell them my story so they'll shut up about me. But the more I tell them, the more they interrogate me! Like I've commited some sort of crime! We must have sat here for hours, just me telling them things! Finally one of them stands "Well I best be going back to my stateroom, get ready for dinner". The rest of us stand and part ways, but not before a few of them smile and say it was 'a pleasure meeting me'. They've made me almost dazed as I walk out onto the deck and sit on one of the chairs. What exactly just happened? Did I make a good impression or not? Those ladies would be expert poker players, you can't read them at all!

"Don't pay any mind to them. They were just curious" a little voice says. I look up and see a young face, not much older than I, looking down at me "My name's Madeleine Astor" she informs me as she sits down on the deck chair next to mine. "Your story was very interesting, was it true? Did you really sleep under Titanic and watch it be built?" she asks me curiously. I nod and she smiles "That sounds so interesting! I can't imagine what building this ship looked like! It's so big! It compares to the pyramids me and my husband saw in Egypt!".

The pyramids of Egypt. I smile at the mention of them, I remember my father one day telling me about the greatest works of mankind throughout all history. I had asked him why they were building Titanic, and he told me that 'in every age mankind attempts to make great things that are thought magnificant and impossible'. He'd told me of how they'd made pyramids out of mountains of stone in the Egyptian desert, and told me of flying buttresses that made walls of light. Oh the interesting things he listed off for me! Things that fasinated me, China's endless wall, Stonehenge, the Parthenon, the Duomo, the aqueducts of Rome. And this age's magnificent and impossible dream, was a floating city! And thus they decided to build Titanic!

As we continue talking, I decide I rather like Madeleine. She's not snobby like the other first class women who were questioning me earlier, she's quiet and dainty, but curious just like I am! She wants to know what everything is made of and how the world works. She tells me that she was quite studious at school, and I can only reply that I never had the pleasure of going. School, I wonder what happens in such a place. Suddenly an older man approaches us "Madeleine! I've been looking for you! Come along, we'll be late for dinner" he says. Wait a moment, I've seen his face in the papers before. Isn't that John Jacob Astor? Before I can make a comment Madeleine bids me goodbye and walks off with her husband. I was just in the presence of the riches man on the ship! Unbelievable!

I'm only left alone a little while to dwell over that before Mr. Andrews walks past. He notices me and stops in his tracks "Alice! I was just about to come looking for you! Aren't you going to change for dinner?" he asks. I blush, secretly the only reason I hadn't gotten up right when Madeleine left was I was afraid I'd go the wrong way again and end up completely lost. I stand and take his offered hand "So, when did you wake up this morning sleeping beauty?" he asks me. I look down, slightly embarrassed "The maid woke me at Noon". Wait a minute, this isn't my fault! "You didn't wake me up this morning!" I accuse, he shrugs "I thought you would want to sleep in since your mother never lets you. I'll remember not to let you sleep for the rest of the trip". He's teasing! At least, I hope he is.

A smile assures me that he is joking, and I sigh in relief. He must have noticed the relief written all over my face because he laughs "Alright, fine. You'll go to sleep after we read that page in the book tonight. But you're getting up at a decent hour tomorrow morning" he tells me. He remembered his promise to help me read that book? Even after working all day? Nobody has ever remembered something like that for me before. I don't have time to dwell on it though, I have to get ready for dinner now. And I'll get to face all those people again! At least I won't be alone this time! I squeeze my father's hand and he squeezes it back affectionately. Yes, with him by my side I'll be able to conquer anything.

* * *

**A few fun facts about this chapter. I included the horses at the beginning because while I was doing some research I found out Mr. Andrews was actually interested in them when he was a child. I thought that was cool, especially since I love horses (owning 2 in real life). Also found out a few other stories from that reading that I'll probably include here and there in later chapters. **

**The part where Alice is recalling her father telling her about the 'great works of mankind' is based on the opening to 'Titanic: A new musical'. Which is actually really good and totally underrated! Go check it out! Mr. Andrews sings some pretty good songs, including the opening "In Every Age" which is of course what I wrote in this chapter. Whenever I hear that song I think of him telling Alice all about that stuff after she asked him 'Why are you building Titanic?'. **

**Next chapter is already started! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW! They're like, super ultra delicious sandwiches. I think I'm going to make it my goal to include the word Sandwich in every single chapter! So watch out for it in the future! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Relax sweetheart" my father assures me as we stride down the grand staircase and head towards the first class dining room. I'm nervous, what's going to happen to me? Are they going to question me again like they did at tea? I'd rather just eat quietly! But mother says that I have to say something, it's improper to remain silent the whole time. It gives off the impression I'm antisocial or something like that.

As we enter the dining room we are greeted by Mr. Ismay. He smiles at me "Alice! Finally joining us for first class dinner?" he asks me, taking my hand and giving it a kiss. I glance at my father who makes a funny face at me while Mr. Ismay isn't looking, causing me to laugh. Mr. Ismay looks up sharply "What's so funny Alice?" he asks, looking around. I smile politely "Nothing, I was just thinking of a funny story I heard earlier at tea" I tell him. Yea! That was a good cover up! I applaude myself as I once again take my father's arm and we head to the table.

I sit quietly and keep aware of my surroundings as everyone else is seated at the table. My father is to my right, and Madeleine Astor sits to my left. I thank all higher powers for that! Me and Madeleine can continue our discussion from earlier! Before I engage her though, I watch as the rest of the table fills up. Most of these people I've seen in the newspapers and only know their names by word of mouth. Mr. Straus who owns Macy's department store, with his wife Ida. And Mr. Guggenheim, who I've heard is an American businessman who spends his money like it's water. Wish I had money to spend like that!

Also at the table is a lady by the name of Molly Brown. I'm afraid of her quite frankly. She's outspoken, I don't want her to embarrass me by pointing out that I'm doing something wrong. I twiddle my thumbs and my father nudges me with his foot under the table, causing me to look up at him. He sits up a little taller and motions to the napkin on the table. Shoot! I completely forgot! I quickly sit up straighter, correcting my bad posture and carefully place my napkin in my lap, looking up at Mr. Andrews for approval. He smiles and winks at me before pulling out his notebook and beginning to scribble notes into it. It's a good thing mother isn't here to be angry, luckily nobody seems to have noticed.

"Alice, I absolutely adore that necklace you're wearing" Madeleine says to me. With that the two of us are engaged into conversation once more. Picking up right where we left off on the boat deck. The more I talk to Madeleine, the more I like her. Maybe I'm just happy to finally have someone to talk to besides my father. Our conversation is interrupted by the serving of the first course. What in the world is being put on my plate? It looks like, I don't even KNOW what that is. I glance at my father for help, but he looks incredibly amused by my bewilderment!

Since he clearly isn't going to be any help, I turn back to Madeleine "What is this?" I ask her. She takes a dainty little bite of it and swallows before answering me "Caviar" she replies "Try it, it's good". I look back to the pile of, something, on my plate. Which one of these forks do I use to eat this anyway? I wish my mother was here to help me! She taught me so much, but clearly not enough! There are too many eating utensils to choose from! I glance around the table to see what everyone else was using to eat this 'caviar'. Alright, they're using the little spoon looking things.

I take a small piece of the mystery substance and once again glance at my father. He's pretending to be engaged in the conversation at hand, but I can see him watching me out of the corner of his eye, trying to hide a smile. I take a deep breath and quickly put the stuff in my mouth, swallowing it. What the? WHAT did I just eat? It's so salty! And it felt so weird in my mouth! Should I take another bite of this? I couldn't even determine if I liked it from that first bite! I take another bite of it and immediately decide whatever the heck this is, it's disgusting and I'm not eating anymore of it. "Madeleine, what is caviar anyway?" I ask her, she looks a little uncomfortable but then a little smile spreads across her face "Wait until they take it away and then I'll tell you. I don't like thinking about what it is while I'm eating it!".

When they take the bizarre food away, I ask again. And Madeleine has to try very hard not to laugh "It's fish eggs" she replies. WHAT? I just ate fish eggs? That is absolutely revolting! I'd rather eat the splattered remains of the sandwich in the Belfast drydock than eat caviar ever again. I have to refrain myself from shuddering at the thought of it. But the next meal looks a little better. It's some kind of soup, and I use it to wash down any lingering taste in my mouth from the, thing.

Poached salmon is next. How do they expect me to eat all of this? We're not even halfway through the meal yet! And my father is steal eating like a horse! Clearing his plate with each course! What on earth? Well, salmon I can deal with. I eat as much of it as I can, I still have to save room for whatever is coming next. It's like some sort of sick parade! After the salmon comes 6 more courses that I barely remember because each one just seemed exactly the same. More food was in front of me throughout that whole meal than in my entire lifetime! Finally though, it's time for dessert, but how do they expect me to eat this ice cream when they've stuffed me with so many other things?

Finally Mr. Ismay stands "Ladies, thank you for the pleasure of your company" he says. The other men at the table get up and Mr. Andrews stands. I immediately get up with him. "Thomas? Won't you be joining us?" Mr. Ismay asks as everyone begins to part ways. My father shakes his head "No, I've got a few things I need to do" he replies. Mr. Ismay merely nods and bids us goodbye before following the others out. I look down to see Madeleine stand and take her husband's arm "Good Night Madeleine" I say before I'm lead off. She turns and smiles at me "Good Night Alice!".

We return to the stateroom and I immediately race into my bedroom, leaping onto the bed and picking up the book from the night table. "Daddy will you hurry up!" I say, bouncing in place excitedly. I'm going to read this page! I'm going to read it and it's going to be amazing! If I can read this mother will be so proud of me! It will make up for me almost ruining dinner with my poor posture! Father finally walks in, I suppose he was putting his dinner jacket away, because he's not wearing it now, and his bowtie is missing.

He sits next to me "Alright, start at the top of the page" he tells me. I look back at the sentence I'd attempted to read the night before, I can do this! I've already read this once! "First, records of the, En..." I trail off and he begins sounding it out for me, I finally get it "English, Thoroughbred were pub, published in 1791, ent..." I trail off. That's a hard looking word. Once again Mr. Andrews begins sounding it out "Entitled?" I ask and he nods as I get it right. That wasn't so bad! Ok, where was I, entitled "An Int..." that's a big word! I look up to my father but his eyes are glued to the page as he begins to sound out the word for me.

"Introduction, to a gene, ral, stud book. With vol, um, e one of the gene, ral, stud book following in 1808" I finish the sentence. What did I even just read? I'm about read to give up but Mr. Andrews prods me on "Keep reading, you're doing fine". And so we keep reading, every time I reach a word I don't know, father sounds it out slowly for me. It must have taken us hours, but finally I manage to read the last sentence "A comb, in, a, ti, on of these two types makes the classic middle-di, stan, ce horse". My father applauds me "You did it!" he says cheerfully. I lean into his shoulder and yawn "That took a really long time" I tell him sleepily. He chuckles "Well you completed it though, and I'll be sure to let your mother know" he tells me. That's reassuring!

Mr. Andrews stands up and moves to the door "Don't fall asleep yet Alice! I'm calling the maid up here to help you change" he tells me. I'm so tired though! I can hear him ring for the maid before he returns to me, sitting next to me nudging me "Is this trip too tiring for you?" he asks. I nod, closing my eyes "It's so much to take all in. I haven't even seen half of the inside of this ship" I tell him. He chuckles "Don't worry, in a few days I'll take you on a tour of the ship. How's that sound?" he asks. I nod and I hear the maid knock at the door. Father leans over and kisses my cheek "Good night Alice" he says gently before leaving the room.

Angelica makes quick work of getting my dress off and unlacing my corset. I'm too tired and full to even care that she's seeing me like this. Once I'm in the comforts of my nightgown I thank her and hazily crawl into bed. I don't even stay awake long enough to see her leave the room.

* * *

Another morning of not wanting to wake up. My father comes to wake me up this time, gently coaxing me to open my eyes. Yet him brushing my stray locks out of my face is lulling me into deeper sleep. I must get up though, I must! Opening my eyes, I look up to see Mr. Andrews smiling down at me "Ah, there are those pretty blue eyes. Good morning darling!" he greets me cheerfully.

I sit up and rub my eyes "What time is it?" I ask him drowsily. It feels as though it's very early in the morning, yet I can see light behind my closed curtains. Mr. Andrews checks his pocket watch "9:20. Get up now, I let you sleep a whole 20 minutes longer than you should have!". He's right, my mother always made sure I woke up at 9 sharp on most days. She said life was too short to waste sleeping. I suppose I can see where she's coming from, but sleeping feels so good!

My father leaves the room and is replaced by Angelica. The still timid maid goes to my closet, shifting through each gown "Which dress would you like miss?" she asks. I run a hand through my hair "It doesn't matter, pick the one you think is prettiest" I tell her. Gee, this is playing out exactly like yesterday! Only this time she settles on a light blue and white dress and she begins dressing me. Once again, she pulls the corset much too tight and I have to remind her to loosen it slightly. Even when she loosens it, the stupid thing feels constricting! I hope whoever thought corsets were a good idea died a horrible, painful, slow death. No no, I take that back, I would never truely wish that upon anyone. But really, why should women have to suffer in these corsets? There must be an easier way to get a small figure!

Dressed and ready for the day, I thank Angelica and join my father out in the sitting room. He stands and offers me his arm "Accompany me to breakfast today?" he asks. I smile "Of course! I should have accompanied you yesterday!" I tell him, I still can't believe he forgot to wake me up! As we trek down the grand staircase and to the dining hall, I take the time to marvel at the inside of the ship some more. I haven't really looked at the inside of the ship until now, I like it a lot better than the outside of the ship.

Mr. Ismay must have noticed I was admiring the ship at breakfast "Alice, still marvelling at the splendor of Titanic?" he asks. I nod and Mr. Ismay leads back in his chair "You go ahead and continue marvelling! You'll not see another ship quite like this one Miss Andrews! She's..." I merely smile and nod as he continues on about the ship. You'd think it was his wife the way he talks about it! When he's finally done going on about the ship I stand "I'm going to go explore the ship a little bit now, if you'll excuse me" I say. The two men nod "See you at dinner?" my father asks. I nod "Of course. I'll be there!" I tell him. And with that, I'm off for another grand adventure on the ship of dreams!

* * *

After wandering the ship for hours on end, I realize it's time for afternoon tea. In a way I'm excited, and in a way I'm not. As I found out yesterday, they do nothing but mindless gossip! Hopefully they've gotten over talking about me! As I enter the room I hear a group a women say my father's name. Curious, I sit down at a table not far from them, keeping my back turned so they don't recognize me. They don't seem to have noticed I've walked in and keep on talking.

"That little tramp of Andrews' needs to go back to third class with the gutter rats, where she belongs" I hear one woman say. That hurts me slightly, but I keep listening "I don't know what he and Helen were thinking passing her off as their daughter. She's going to suck all the money right out of the family, claim it as her own". My heart begins to break slightly as I hear them continue more "I would never let anyone who was not blood related even touch my money! Especially when it's the blood of some poor trash ruffian". A ruffian? Poor trash ruffian? Is that what I am? I don't consider myself a ruffian, I've never hit or even pushed anyone before. Do they think just because I was poor that I'm violent? Maybe it was because I was slouching at dinner last night! Because I almost forgot to put my napkin on my lap! They thought I was a slob!

What makes things worse is they feel the need to continue talking "Thing couldn't even afford a third class ticket before Thomas came along! She should be thrown overboard, the dirt down in third class won't even want her!". I believe that is the end of their conversation, and even if it's not, I'm leaving! Not even worth dirt? How could I be more worthless than dirt? How could they even say that about a person!

I walk out on the deck and towards the gate that leads towards the back of the ship, towards third class. With each step the words of those women ring in my ears, and they're convincing me. They are right! I shouldn't be on this ship! I'm not the blood daughter of Mr. Andrews, I shouldn't pretend to be. I will end up just end up making them waste time and money on me. Time and money that should be going to Elba, his REAL daughter.

Suddenly I'm standing at the stern of the ship. I lean on the railing and look out to sea. Would throwing myself overboard make everyone's life easier? I step up on the rail, clinging tightly to it, I'm a coward! I'll never be able to jump off this boat! I step up another rail, maybe it'll be quick and painless. Probably not, why am I even doing this anyway? Why am I letting their words bother me to this extreme? This is rediculous! Suddenly I'm snapped from my thoughts by a voice coming from behind me, almost causing me to jump and fall, just like when I'd been on the scafolding trying to get that sandwich.

"Hey, you gonna jump?" he asks. I turn around to see a red haired boy, his hands shoved in his pockets casually and his cap is on slightly crooked. Before I can say anything he's right next to me, leaning on the rail and looking down at the water "Sure is a long way down, bet it will hurt hittin the water" he comments. Just ignore him Alice, maybe he'll go away! Oh who am I kidding? This guy isn't going to leave me alone!

He look back up at me "Name's Joey" he tells me, holding out his hand. I swallow nervously "Alice" I reply, shaking his hand, why did I just tell him my name? He smiles "That's pretty. Say Alice, can I ask ya a question?" he asks. I nod and he looks back down at the water briefly "What's got a first class gal like you on the third class deck tryin to jump off the back of the boat?". Should I tell him why I'm here? Should I open up to him all my problems? What have I got to lose? I step back down so I'm standing on the flat deck again "I, I shouldn't be in first class. I shouldn't even be in third class". With that, I open up and tell him practically my whole life story. And he listens! he actually stands there and listens to me.

When my story is finished the sky is beginning to darken "I think those first class ladies were wrong. I think the third class would like ya, no, I lie. I think they'd love ya. Of course, there's only one way to find out!" he tells me. Find out? "How is that?" I ask him, truely, my curiosity is peaked at this. He takes my hand and begins taking me into the ship, down stairs, and more stairs, and more stairs. Hey! I barely even know this guy! Where is he taking me? Down to third class? Well ok I suppose but where on earth is the third class located? Down in the pits of hell? I'm just going to have to put my faith in this total stranger. Angelica was a complete stranger a few days ago, I found out she was nice enough. Maybe the same is with this Joey fellow!

Finally we make it to a hallway, with large double doors at the end of it. There's loud music playing from behind those closed doors, I can hear it! It's like nothing I've ever heard before! Certainly a change from what they play up in the first class dining room! He opens the door and I'm blasted with the music "Come along lass!" he says, tugging on my arm and pulling me in. The scene before me is insane! The people have arranged the tables to the outside of the room, so there is a big open space in the middle where many couples are dancing and a band is playing. There are way too many people in this room! Not that they probably know, they probably can't read the occupation limit.

We sit down at a table and I watch in awe as the couples all dance to the lively jig the band is playing. Joey takes a sip of beer and I copy his example "Joey, I've told you everything about me, what are you going to America for?" I ask him. He laughs "Horse ridin! The stable I ride for has a horse they're enterin in that American Derby that's goin on in May. The horse got sent ahead of me, now I'm goin after em so I can ride em in the race!" he explains. Wait! He rides race horses? Like, thoroughbed horses? Before I can question him on it he stands, downing the rest of the beer before grabbin my hand "Come on! You look tense! I'm gonna show you how to have a good time now!" he tells me.

"I don't know this dance!" I tell him. He spins me around "Neither do I! Just do whatever feels right to ya!" he tells me. Well ok! I know I shouldn't be doing this though, mother would be having a heart attack if she found out I was partying with a bunch of drunk third class passangers that I didn't even know. I continue to dance the night away with Joey though, he's such a fun guy! Not a serious bone in his body I don't think! He's just a big goofball! Wait a minute, what would father say about what I'm doing? FATHER! I stop and grab Joey, pulling him aside "What time is it?" I ask him. He pulls out a pocketwatch and glances at it "Almost 1 in the mornin" he tells me with a cheeky grin.

Almost one in the morning? Father must be having a panic attack! Then again, maybe he isn't, maybe he hasn't noticed! What difference should it make anyway. If I'd jumped off the back of the ship earlier I wouldn't be back in time for dinner and I certainly wouldn't be having a good time like I'm having right now. Hey! That's right! I'm having a good time down here in third class! With my newfound friend Joey! Unfortunately, I think it would probably be for the best if I returned to first class. "I'm sorry Joey, I gotta head back to first class" I tell him. That's a nice thing about Joey, I don't have to speak all prim and proper to him.

He gives me a lopsided smile "S'alright, if ya say so. Come on, I'll lead ya back". He takes my hand and leads me back up to the deck where we met. As we approach the gate that will lead me to the first class deck he smiles "I told ya those first class ladies of yours were wrong. Now listen Alice. Ya gotta makes me a promise now before you go back". A promise? I just met him a few hours ago! Oh well, I agree to make the promise and he opens the gate for me "Don't try to jump off the back of the boat again. Cause if you jumped off then I'd be mighty sad!" he tells me.

I'm flattered by his words and I find myself blushing slightly "I won't. Good luck in the kentucky derby, you know, when you run in it". He laughs "Ah, the horse ain't worth nothin. But once I'm in America, I can find a betta horse! A big fast one! And I'll win that ol' derby! I will!" he tells me. I'm standing on the first class deck now, the gate closing and seperating us "Goodbye Joey" I say. He tips his cap to me "G'Night Lass!" he says. With that, he turns and disappears, probably heading back down to the bottom of the ship with the others. I hope I see him again one day.

And now I, poor little Alice Andrews, must go face my father. I certainly hope he isn't too worried that I'm not back yet. I've never seen him angry or overly upset about something. I fear what I'll see when I make it back to the stateroom!

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**WOAH! 2 updates in 1 night! Aren't you guys lucky? I had this chapter about halfway typed up and I figured 'Might as well just finish it'. So I did and here it is! Next update will hopefully not take too long. But, I figure you have these two updates to hold you over until the next time. **

**As always, THANK YOU THANK YOU for the reviews! And thanks for reading! Glad you all like it to much. Alice is a really fun character to write =)**


	5. Chapter 5

"Alice?" I hear a voice call my name. I've hardly been on the first class deck for a few moments when Mr. Ismay comes charging around a corner and straight to me. He takes my hand "Thank God! Your father has had us out all night looking for you! Are you alright?" he asks me. He seems a little flustered and worried for some reason. The uncle thing comes to mind again and I smile reassuringly up at him "Mr. Ismay I'm just fine! Time got away from me is all" I tell him.

One of the few nice things about Mr. Ismay is that he actually never questions me. Of course, he questions everyone else like a madman, especially my father, but he has never questioned me when I've told him something. He takes my hand and begins leading me back towards my stateroom. As we walk he glances down at me "I never got my brandy and cigars tonight! I hope you had a good time Alice! Because me and the rest of the crew most certainly did not have a good time looking for you!". Gee, he's a little bent out of shape isn't he? One night without brandy and cigars isn't the end of the world! Oh wait, this is grumpy ol' Mr. Ismay we're talking about, nevermind.

When we reach my stateroom the door's open and I can see my father pacing the room. I skid to a halt and back away from the door. He looks angry! What if he hits me? My old father used to give me some terrible lashings when I didn't return home on time! Mr. Ismay tugs on my hand "Alice, come along!" he orders. I shake my head, I'm not going in there! Mr. Ismay waits a moment, before tugging my arm again, more gently this time "He's not angry with you Alice, just be a good girl and come along". Lowering my head, I follow him slowly but reluctantly into the room. Mr. Andrews looks up at me, the look in his eyes, oh how terrible I feel! I turn back to Mr. Ismay for support but he's nowhere in sight. Figures the moment I actually want to be in his company, he ditched me! He was pretty fast about it too!

My father approaches me slowly and I back against the wall in fright. The closer he gets, the more afraid I become, like a trapped animal. I didn't mean to cause any trouble! I just, needed to get away for a little while! Or did I? No, the original reason I went away so long was for a stupid reason! I don't think Mr. Andrews would strike me, but I've never made him angry or upset before. Sure Mr. Ismay said he wasn't angry, but I'm sure he was just using that as a ploy to get me to come in here! What I fool I was to listen to him! Even for a moment!

Suddenly my father takes one step too close and I drop to the ground, huddling against the wall and holding my arms above my head, waiting to be stuck. Wait, wait why hasn't it happened yet? I peak up at him and he merely stands there, frozen with a shocked look on his face. He kneels down in front of me "Alice?" he asks me "Alice I'm not going to hit you I..." this night has gone on so long! I cut off his words with a sob "Oh Daddy! I'm sorry I wasn't back for dinner! I'm sorry I was on the third class deck! I'm sorry!".

I can't stop myself from shaking and I let Mr. Andrews wrap his arms around me "Shhhh, it's alright darling! I'm not angry with you" he tells me gently. He's not angry? You mean Mr. Ismay was telling the truth for once? Gently, he picks me up off the floor like I weigh nothing and carries me to my bedroom, placing me on the bed then sitting next to me. I cry into his shoulder and he continues to hush me "Why were you on the third class deck?" he asks me. I feel like such a fool! But I tell him, I tell him about what those women had said, about me contemplating jumping off the back of the ship. I tell him about Joey, and how he brought me down to the lower decks to stop me from jumping and caused me to lose track of time!

Throughout my terrible tale I have to stop and sob. It all sounds so foolish even to me! Father is patient though, stroking my hair and hushing me when I begin to get worked up. Once I finally manage to finish my story I'm calmer than before, but tears still roll down my cheeks in a steady stream. How could I think Mr. Andrews would strike me? Exhaustion must be clouding my judgement. He speaks to me softly and rocks me "Mind if I get up for a moment?" he asks after a moment. I shake my head and he stands, beginning to search the room for something. It's a little cold now that his arms aren't around me anymore. I watch him as he scans the room, rummaging through my jewelry box and finally settling on something. He sits back down next to me with the object "Give me your hand" he tells me. What is he up to? I give him my hand and continue to wonder what he's planning to do.

He gently takes my hand and smiles "You're going to feel a prick, do you trust me?" he asks. What a question to ask me after I just assumed he would hit me! But do I trust him? Of course I do! With my life! I nod "I trust you" I tell him, he takes the object and pokes my finger, drawing blood. Hey! I just told him I trust him and yet he's drawing my blood? What's the meaning of this? To further my shock he goes ahead and draws blood from his own finger.

Now that we're both bleeding, he takes my finger and touches my bleeding spot to his, holding it there for a long moment. "There, you're my blood daughter now" he tells me. There is a long moment of silence before I finally manage a confused "What?". He chuckles lightly "You told me those women were saying that you weren't my blood child. Well, now my blood is in you and yours is in me. Therefore, it would make sense, that we are blood related now" he explains. His reasoning makes a lot of sense actually! As gross as it seems, I am actually overjoyed! I'm his blood daughter now! Not just some abandoned tramp, I have the blood of Thomas Andrews in me! That sounds so bizarre and amazing at the same time, I love it!

As gently as he's done everything else so far tonight, he wraps my finger up and kisses it "Alice, I would never hit you for any reason. You know that right?" he asks me. I feel tears begin to slide down my cheeks again, I feel absolutely terrible. I made him worry about me all night, then I show up and cower away from him in fear. Then he does me the ultimate kindness, how can I repay him? I bury my face in his shoulder and he hushes me, wrapping his arms around me once more "Hey" he says.

Before I can answer 'what' he pokes me in the side. I jump slightly "No! Don't do that" I murmer to him, trying to hide my slight smile. Secretly, I'm incredibly ticklish, even a slight poke in the side can cause me to jump. But to my horror he begins tickling me "Do what?" he asks me innocently. I can't stop laughing as I try to get him to stop! This is so improper! Mother would be cross that we're acting this way! Like children! "Daddy that tickles!" I tell him.

This seems to modivate him further and I can hardly breath I'm laughing so hard "Daddy! Daddy stop that!" I tell him. He pauses for a moment "Well, I'll only stop on one condition" he tells me, I'm still giggling slightly as I try to recover from his attack "What?" I ask him. He cups my cheek in his hand and wipes his thumb under my eye, wiping away the few remaining tears "No more tears for the rest of this trip. Alright? This is supposed to be a joyful occation. The maiden voyage of our ship!" he tells me. "Our ship?" I ask, this isn't mine! This is his ship, well, his and Mr. Ismay's ship! I have no part in it!

He smiles gently "Yes, it's ours. We both spent an equal amount of time with her didn't we?". I suppose he's right, although he certainly had better times with her than I've had. Finally he stands "I'll send for the maid to help you change. It's very late". As he walks out, he studdenly stops and turns back to me "Oh yes, just to make sure you don't 'lose track of time again'. I'm arranging for you to have an escort tomorrow". An escort? Really? He must be joking right? Maybe it's my punishment! But who could he possibly have to lead me around the ship tomorrow? Some poor steward with nothing better to do? The maid? Who?

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"Alice, do try to keep up with me" I am secretly hating my father this morning. After being woken up at 9 o clock, sharp, I was informed by Mr. Andrews on who my 'escort' would be. I began to dread the rest of my day the moment his name came out of my father's mouth, Mr. Ismay. And now here I am! Reluctantly following the pompous man all over the ship. He's been everywhere! Bothering everyone! I'm fearful for the moment he runs out of people to tell about Titanic, because then he'll turn to me! Oh wait, it is all going to fall on me, because we've just sat down for tea and there's nobody around. Great, just perfect!

We've barely been sitting here for 5 minutes and already he's been grumbling about iceberg warnings the ship has been recieving. He says to me "Alice, I don't understand why they feel compelled to give us this information. This is an unsinkable ship! A little bit of ice will not pose a threat to us!". Maybe when he thinks of icebergs he thinks of the cute little ice cubes that are served in lemonade, that's definately not what I think of when I think iceberg though. There is one question burning on my mind though that I just have to ask him "What makes you think this ship is unsinkable?".

He stares at me with shock as if I just questioned God himself. I sip my tea and patiently await his response, which he seems to be mulling over for some reason. He seems to sure this ship can't sink, and yet when I ask him why he thinks so he can't even answer right away? That seems kinda odd! Finally he speaks "Thomas designed her to be unsinkable! That's his job! If I didn't believe he could make my ship unsinkable, then I wouldn't have hired him to build it. White Star Line only has the best after all!". Even when he talks about the man who built the boat he still boasts as though he was the one who actually built it! And my father doesn't even work for White Star Line, he works for Harland and Wolff! Then again, my father does claim it was Mr. Ismay's idea first, but it's one thing to dream up a ship, it's a completely different story to be the person who actually willed it into reality.

There's an akward silence between us before Mr. Ismay shoots into asking me how I like the ship. I feel like he has asked me this already, multiple times. Patience, mother told me to be patient, and polite! "I love this ship" I merely reply, taking another sip of tea. He begins speaking about Titanic some more, saying stuff I already knew. You'd think as the shipbuilder's daughter I'd know some things about this ship! You'd think that I'd know a few things just by living under it, by stealing food off it!

Really though, the more time I spend with Ismay, the less I really care about his boasting. I suppose he could be tolerable, if I can just get him to talk about something besides this ship! Now would be the perfect time, as we're sitting down for tea and not running around the deck like crazy people. Just gotta get his mind off the ship, and he'll be alright! At least, I hope so! "So Mr. Ismay. Do you have any other interests besides white star line?" I ask him. Ok, maybe being direct is a little rude, but I don't think he notices the difference if I'm asking about him!

"Well, I used to be quite the lawn-tennis player back in my younger years. Why do you ask?" he answers. I shrug my shoulders "I was just curious. Well, actually, no offense to you Mr. Ismay, but I'm beginning to grow tired of hearing you talk about Titanic. You've been doing nothing but talk about her all day!". For the second time today, he looks shocked I would say such a thing. But then, oddly enough, he smiles! "I suppose you're right. I'm excited for her success is all. We can talk about something else. How about America? Have you ever been to New York?" he asks. Like I, of all people, will have been to New York! I've never even been on a ship before!

He chuckles as he realizes his mistake "Oh, sorry. Well here, I'll tell you all about New York!". And he does! And believe it or not, I actually enjoy listening to him tell me about New York. About buildings a building that is 23 stories tall, and about a place called Coney Island with something called rollercoasters. And he told me about how the city never sleeps! Someone is always doing stuff! There are these things called 'vaudeville shows' that had the most talented singers and dancers you'll ever see! I asked him about the streets being paved with gold, he said they aren't, but the food is amazing!

Even the sandwiches are amazing! But he says there are these things that are a lot better than sandwiches, called hot dogs. I don't know what that is, but it sounds really good! All this talk about New York has made us lose track of time though, and suddenly we hear the bugler out on the deck announcing dinner. Me and Mr. Ismay fly to our feet and he quickly checks his pocket watch "Damn, I told Thomas I'd have you back an hour ago! Come on!" he says. He takes my hand and we practically run through the decks and down the stairs to my stateroom.

Just like last night, my father is pacing the room waiting for us. I burst through the door "Daddy! I'm sorry we're late!" I tell him. Mr. Ismay leans against the doorframe, out of breath "Sorry Thomas, she and I were talking and lost track of time". I burst out laughing, wasn't the point of Mr. Ismay leading me around so that I would be back on time? Oh well, my father doesn't seem angry about it "You can tell me what was so interesting as to keep you at dinner" he turns to me "Alice, what do you have to say?" he asks.

I step forward "Thank you for accompanying me today" I say politely. Mr. Ismay offers me a smile "It was my pleasure". With that, he leaves and my father closes the door behind him. I sit on the couch and look up at him "Daddy, when we get to New York I wanna eat a hot dog! And I wanna see Coney Island! And ride a roller coaster! Have you ever been on one of those? And I want to see the horse races like you promised! And I wanna..." my father chuckles "We're going to be late for dinner sweetheart, Angelica is waiting for you in your room. Hurry and get changed and you can tell me at dinner".

As my quiet little maid dresses me for dinner, I can't help but think what a weird day this has been. The oddest part being I actually enjoyed my time with Mr. Ismay, well, some of the time. What he told me about New York was so interesting though! The sights, the sounds, the way he talked on and on and on about it, I felt like I was practically there! And I don't even think he told me everything he wanted to! Well, time for another dinner. Once my hair is pinned up I thank Angelica and go out into the sitting room, taking my father's arm and letting him lead me to dinner. Our arrival in New York harbor won't come soon enough!

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**Sorry this took so long, and sorry I can't write that long of an author's note. I'm leaving in a minute to see a show.**

** Anyway, I'm not exactly thrilled with this chapter, but it kinda sets up some important stuff for later. **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I need all the help I can get! Hopefully the next chapter will come quicker than this one! Thanks for Reading! **


	6. Chapter 6

I think I ate something at dinner last night that didn't agree with me. My stomach feels like it's being punched over and over again. I really don't want to get sick on the floor of my stateroom though, I have to make it to the toilet. I feel so sick though, I don't know if I can get up, what if I pass out on the floor or something? I pull my legs up to my chest and take some deep breaths, I can make it! Just get sick, and then whatever doesn't like me will be out of me, and I can go back to sleep!

Sitting up in bed, everything is hazy at first. This kinda reminds me of how I felt after I fell off the platforms, everything is a little dark around the edges and my stomach hurts. Alright, now to just get my feet on the floor, I'm almost halfway there! Now I just have to walk into the sitting room, and the bathroom will be right there, and I'll get sick. Then everything will be alright!

Once I'm at my bedroom door I crack it open and peak into the sitting room, to make sure my father isn't there. I don't want him to worry or anything. Luckily, he isn't there though, and thank god because my stomach isn't going to wait much longer! I bolt across the sitting room and throw open the bathroom door. Oh glorious toilet! I've never been more happy to see you in all my life!

My stomach must have done a couple dozen flips at the sight, because in an instant I'm keeled over it, vomiting. This is so disgusting, but before I can think about it another wave of nausea comes. Deep breaths, I just gotta take deep breaths. Whatever I ate last night, it has to be out now. Then again, I ate yet another 10 course meal. Which part was the part that upset my stomach? Am I going to reject it all? Suddenly I'm frightened, I don't want to be here all day!

Mr. Andrews must have heard me, after about 15 minutes of getting sick, because he knocks at the bathroom door. At this point I'm so exhausted from heaving up my dinner that I'm lying on the cold floor staring up at the ceiling and trying to recover. I forgot about trying to get to my bedroom after the first few minutes or so. Can I answer him without me getting sick? I'm gonna try! "Come in!" I call, that wasn't very loud. I tried to yell it, it came out just above a little hoarse whisper.

The door opens and my father immediately kneels next to me "Alice? What happened?" he asks, alarmed. Yes, this reminds me a lot of sandwich stealing incident! I try to sit up, but it takes a ton of effort, and once I'm sitting up I feel dizzy and have to lean against the toilet for support "Dinner and I didn't like each other" I tell him. He presses the back of his hand to my forehead "You're a bit warm, I'm going to call for the doctor". Before I can reply he scoops me up in his arms and carries me back to my room.

I don't want the doctor here! I hate doctors! He gently tucks me in "I'll be back soon" he tells me, giving a quick peck on my forhead before leaving the room. I almost want to call out for him to come back, but I don't. Maybe if I go to sleep, when my father gets back with that doctor they'll leave me alone. But try as I might, sleep is not coming, and now the doctor is here with his black bag of torture tools. Wow, that was fast! Or maybe being sick is making time seem really weird, I'm not sure.

Got to be brave, there's nothing wrong with me! I'm just not used to eating huge 10 course meals with food that I can't even name! The doctor was a big jerk and sent my father out too, I'm not dying! Why can't he be here with me? "How do you feel miss Alice?" he asks me, what kind of stupid question is that? Does he expect me to say 'Oh I'm just dandy sir, I've never felt better'? I swallow "Like someone used my stomach for a punching bag" I reply. Now he's asking me more questions, just shut up and go away already!

Basically, he finds out the same thing that I thought was wrong with me. My body rejected something I ate last night at dinner, and now I'm suffering for it. Now that we're all in agreement about this, can my father please come in here? I want him! I don't care if we don't talk, I just don't want to be sick all by myself! The doctor finally goes outside, I can hear him talking to my father, but I'm not listening too hard because my head hurts.

My father comes in, and I've never been more happy to see him before! Actually, I take that back, I'm always equally happy to see him, I can't be happier when he walks in a room no matter what the situation. He offers me a small smile "No more 10 course meals for you sweetheart. I should have known better than to let you eat that much after eating so little so long. I'm sorry". He's right about me not eating much. The past two years while I've been with him and Mrs. Andrews, they've been careful never to feed me too much at once. I remember my first few weeks they only gave me a bit of bread and milk for breakfast, and a bowl of soup for dinner. They worked me up, giving me more and more as time went on. But I've never eaten more than a few courses at dinner. On a regular day I only eat one!

At least my stomach has stopped churning, for the time being. Mr. Andrews is lulling me to sleep by petting my hair. The steady movement of his hand smoothing my hair back is comforting after being alone in the cold bathroom. Before I go to sleep though, I look up at him "Promise you'll be here when I wake up?". He hushes me "I'll be here" he assures me. That makes me feel good, and can I finally drift off to sleep for a little while.

When I wake up, as Mr. Andrews said he would be, he's sitting by my side, writing away in his journal. I wonder what time it is, I certainly feel a lot better than I did this morning. My father notices I'm awake and takes my hand "How are you feeling darling?" he asks me. I smile as best I can at him, I still feel a bit tired "Better than this morning". He returns my smile "I'm glad. The chef sent you some soup and crackers for dinner. Would you like it?" he asks me. I shake my head "No, not right now" I tell him. I'm going to wait for a while before I try to eat anything, just in case. I'm afraid of getting sick again, I don't want to be sick anymore on this trip!

"Daddy, when are we supposed to arrive in New York?" I ask him, this trip is taking such a long time! He pats my hand "The 17th" he replies "And what day is it today?" I ask him. "The 13th" is his answer and I groan "But that means we're going to be at sea for 4 more days!". This causes Mr. Andrews to chuckle slightly "Tomorrow I'm sure you'll find something to do on the ship. But today, just rest". I glance over at his notebook, that's sitting on his lap "What were you writing in that notebook?" I ask him curiously. He always seems to be writing in it, I want to know what it says.

He picks it up "Oh just some improvements to add to the ship. Everyone seems to think it's perfect, but it's not". I can't help but sigh "Just like everyone thinks this ship is unsinkable?" I comment. My father frowns at this "The press started calling these ships unsinkable, and Ismay was leadin the chorus. It's just not true" he tells me. Well, him and I both seem to know that the ship could sink, but I trust the captain won't put us in any danger. Besides, no matter what my daddy says, I know he built Titanic strong, with watertight compartments and such. It would be very hard to sink her, not impossible, but I don't think we'll sink!

I look up at Mr. Andrews "Do you have any good stories?" I ask him suddenly. I've run out of things to talk about, and I don't want him thinking about the possibility of Titanic sinking. He laughs "I believe I have a few good ones rolled up my sleeve" he replies. With that he launches into a story about when he was a boy, he went to a fundraising event at his church. They were selling kittens, but one of them got into a small space none of the adults could get to. So, little Mr. Andrews, managed to coax the kitten out of it's hiding spot, and as his reward he got to keep it. What a cute story! I can almost picture the scene in my head, the little irish boy trying to get the little kitten out of it's hiding spot. My father is so good with people, I can believe him to be good with animals too.

When he finishes the story I smile softly at him "I'm a little hungry now Daddy". His eyes light up at this "Really? Alright, I'll go get your food!" he stands and walks rather briskly into the sitting room. After a moment he returns with a bowl of soup, sitting beside me. While he was getting it I'd managed to sit myself up, and I was able to determine I definately feel a lot better. He holds out the soup and I reach out for it, but he suddenly pulls it away "Now you eat this slowly, this isn't going to be like the first time I fed you". I have to laugh at that, I was just thinking the same thing "I won't eat it fast! I promise!".

Satisfied with my answer, he gives the bowl to me and I make sure to eat it nice and slowly. Mr. Andrews watches me carefully, but I think the sickness has passed on now, whatever I ate that I didn't like got out of my system this morning. When the soup is finally done he takes the bowl from me and places it on the night table "Mr. Ismay was asking about you during dinner tonight" he tells me.

This causes me to giggle "He was? What did he have to say?" I ask him. Really, I'm curious! Since when does Mr. Ismay care about me? Or anything unrelating to this ship? My father chuckles too at my surprise "He says he's incredibly sorry you don't feel well. You know Alice, he's not such a bad man". That's probably easy for him to say, because he's worked with Ismay on Titanic for so long, and they're both really proud of her. Ok, my daddy's probably right, I suppose he's not SO bad. He's not, evil, I guess. He's just, kinda annoying and pompous and braggy and, I need to stop trying to think of adjectives to describe the man or else my head will start to hurt again.

My father puts his hand on my forhead "Tomorrow I'll make sure you don't eat too much. I think you're going to be back to yourself by the morning though". I nod and he pushes me down into the pillows "For now, I think you should rest for the night. I'll come wake you in the morning". He kisses my forhead and I begin drifting off to sleep "You promise?" I ask him. He nods "I promise". With that, he douses the lights and leaves, closing the door behind him.

Aside from being sick everywhere, I'd say this day was pretty good! Sleeping all day, some quiet alone time with Mr. Andrews, and the best part ever, I didn't have to wear a corset all day! Maybe I should get sick more often! Actually no, I take that back, I hate being sick! I wonder what I'll be doing tomorrow. I feel alright, but what is there left for me to do on this ship? Go have some tea? No, that's boring after a while. Read? No, I can't really read, I don't want to be stuck on one page of a book all day! I could accompany my father, but I've seen this ship so much I know it like the back of my hand! Why would I need another tour? I practically got a tour yesterday with Mr. Ismay!

I miss my mother, father says she doesn't like to travel. He claims that Elba wouldn't have liked the trip either. But I think Elba would have liked this big ship just as much as I'm liking it! She and I could have played on the deck together, or I could have read with her. And I wouldn't have looked like a bad reader in front of the other first class passangers because the books would have been easy enough for me to read!

Mother would be here to dress me in and we could have tea together. She would tell me what every utensil at the dinner table was for, and how to behave and what to say. I know she taught me a lot of manners, but I still feel out of place! I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it though, I'll see her when I get back from this trip. Yea! And I'll show her all the things I did in America! Maybe I can get her something nice, I don't know what she'd want, but something good!

This was quite the waste of a day, I just realize that. It's probably for the best, if I did a bunch of stuff today I would have been bored tomorrow because, well, I would have already done stuff today! I wonder how Joey is doing down in 3rd class, I'd like to visit him again! He was such a fun person to be with, not to say that I don't enjoy the company of the first class people, I do. But these people would never throw a party quite like the one I saw a few nights ago!

Closing my eyes, I begin to ponder whatever comes to mind. The horses Mr. Andrews promised to show me in America are the first things that I think of, what does a running horse look like? I don't think there are any pictures of galloping horses in the book I tried to read. I heard that horses fly when they run, I'd like to see for myself! How can something so big fly? Alright, I need to stop thinking now! Tomorrow, what am I going to do tomorrow! Hopefully not get sick and throw up everywhere, yes, that would be truely terrible! But I feel fine, and father says I'll be fine. Therefore, tomorrow, will be just fine!

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**Ok, if I wasn't happy with the chapter before this one, I absolutely dislike this chapter! But I needed filler, and this was all I could think of. The next chapter and on should be alright though, because the time has come for this ship to sink! **

**Yea, Alice was really boring in this chapter, I'm sorry. Once again, it was filler, and not very interesting filler. So, all in all, sorry for the boring chapter! I promise things will pick up from here!**

**PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY! REVIEW THIS THING! I haven't gotten any reviews for chapters 4 or 5, and that makes me less modivated to write. Even though I DO want to finish this, it's like 'Well nobody's reading it so why rush out another chapter'. But if I don't rush out another chapter, I'll get distracted by another project and NEVER finish! So please, good or bad reviews, I tear this apart if it suits your fancy! But review it! Please!**

**As always, thanks for reading. Next chapter should be up within a day or so!**


	7. Chapter 7

This is going to sound crazy, but I'm bored out of my mind on this ship! I don't know how many more days of this I can take! Today's the 14th, so that means only 3 more days until we land in America! I want to get to America right now though! I've done everything there is for me to do on this ship! I've walked along the deck, I've drank enough tea to last me a lifetime, I've talked to what feels like every first class lady on this boat! I've even gone down to third class and had a party with the them! So now what is there left for me to do?

For most passangers, they're still touring the ship. I don't think most of them have seen half of it. But I, I know this ship down to the last rivet, and as much as I love Titanic, I'm getting tired of looking at her. I want something new to look at! It doesn't even need to be grand, nothing is grander than the Titanic anyway, but I need something! Anything! Even Dinner was exactly the same!

The only difference for dinner was that I was only allowed to have one course, so I picked to have some chicken. Even the conversations at the table were boring me out of my mind! I think my father noticed me getting fidgety after a while because he excused both of us, and we've been in our stateroom ever since. I changed into my nightgown and planned to go to sleep, but I couldn't sleep, so I'm sitting on the couch looking at pictures in the horse book again. Mr. Andrews is concentrating on something on his desk, occationally taking a sip of wine as he studies blueprints.

A glance at the clock shows it'll be midnight in about 20 minutes. How did it get so late so fast? My thoughts are broken by the ground beginning to shake, actually everything is trembling! I look up at the chandelier to see the little crystals clattering. And as quickly as all the trembling started, it stopped! That was odd, I don't think ships are supposed to tremble like that. I'm sure it was nothing though, my father looks at me with a strange look on his face "Alice, I know you're tired, but do your daddy a favor and stay awake for now alright? Just until we find out what that was". He looks worried, I'm sure it was nothing!

We wait a few minutes, but nothing happens. I guess it really was nothing! I begin looking at the pictures in my book again. Suddenly there's a knock at the door "Mr. Andrews!" a voice calls behind the door. My father stands and opens the door to find an officer standing there "The captain requests you report to the bridge immediately" he tells him. My father nods and the officer disappears from the doorway, Mr. Andrews walks over to his desk, rolling up his blueprints. "Daddy?" I ask him, approaching him, where's he going? Maybe I should come too and help him! He looks up at me once he has all the blueprints under his arm "Just stay here darling" he says, and then he's gone.

Stay here? Something is definately not right! I'm not going to just stay here! What happened to this ship? I step out into the hallway and look both ways, many of the passangers are out in the hallway like I am, asking questions. My father is absolutely nowhere in sight, which will make it easier for me to find out what's going on for myself! Wandering out and down the hallway, I turn around a corner and nearly smack right into Madeleine Astor "Alice!" she says, sounding happy to see me "Do you have any idea what has happened?" she asks. I shake my head "My father just went up to the bridge" I tell her, Mr. Astor comes up behind her "The engines have stopped, I don't think it's anything serious, I'm sure we'll be on our way again soon".

Just then someone comes down the hallway, yelling "Put your lifebelts on! Get up to the deck! Put your lifebelts on!". I look up at Astor and he shrugs "Well, best do as we're told". He disappears into his stateroom for a moment before returning with two lifebelts, one for him and one for his wife. Madeleine looks at me as her husband puts it on her "Alice, you should go get a lifebelt too!" she tells me. I shrug "I'll get one later, when my father returns" I reply. That seems logical enough, I'm not going to do anything until he returns and tells me so himself.

Mr. Astor takes Madeleine on one arm and offers the other to me "Well, how about you come with us Miss Andrews, for the meantime?". I take his arm and we begin walking down the hallway. Oh my goodness! If only mother could see me right now! I'm on the arm of the richest man on the ship! When we get to the deck they are readying the lifeboats. That's a bit odd, is this some kind of drill? At nearly midnight? And my goodness it's freezing out here! "Come on, we'll wait inside" Mr. Astor tells us. Alright, sounds fair enough.

He takes us into the gym, where many other people are gathered. This is all happening so fast, at least it feels like it is. We're all standing around here dressed up in our pajamas, wondering what on earth is going on. I'd rather be going to sleep right now! On the bright side, I've never been in this room of the ship before! It has so many interesting things in it, like mechanical horses and a rowing thingy! And a bicycle that doesn't move no matter how fast you petal it! I think I'd be good at that, I never learned how to ride one of those, and I'm sure I'd fall over or run into something if I tried a real one. Or these skirts would get caught in the wheels!

"Mr. Astor, do you have the time?" I ask curiously, he pulls out his pocket watch, it's solid gold "Quarter past midnight Miss Andrews" he replies. Wow, time is going by really fast! It's been over half an hour already! I wonder where my father is, I hope he's not panicking that I'm not in our room. Suddenly Madeleine looks at her lifebelt "John, are you sure this will float?" she asks, a little nervously. Does she think we'll end up in the water? There's nothing wrong though, it's just a drill! At least, I think it's just a drill!

He smiles at her "Of course! They're perfectly safe Madeleine!" he tells her, she doesn't look convinced "What are they made of?". He looks around, seeing a discarded lifebelt on one of the machines, he picks it up and pulls out a small thing I can't identify. Carefully he begins cutting, Madeleine leaning over to get a good look "Look here Madeleine, it's made of cork! It's plenty boyant enough to hold you above the water" he shows her. She nods slowly "Yes, I suppose you're right", she still looks so frightened. I take her hand, sitting next to her "Madeleine, it's probably just a drill, nothing to worry about. Whatever happened, I'm sure my father will have it fixed and we'll be on our way in no time!".

She smiles a little at this "Thank you Alice, I'd feel much better if you'd go find your father though. Hopefully we'll all get to go to sleep soon" she tells me. I laugh softly "I hope so too. Will I see you tomorrow at breakfast then?" I ask, she nods "Yes, hopefully I won't be too tired from all this". I stand up "Well, goodbye Madeleine, goodbye Mr. Astor!" I say, they both nod to me "Goodbye Miss Andrews" Mr. Astor calls as I turn and push my way out of the gym.

Alright, now I just have to find my father. I begin walking and end up at the grand staircase, where Molly Brown is asking one of the stewards why we're all standing around. I'd like to know the same thing, but I don't think the answer is going to come from some random steward! Suddenly I see him! Walking up the staircase! I don't think he noticed me, so I run up behind him and practically tackle him "Daddy! What's going on?" I ask.

He spins around, immediately I can tell something is horribly wrong, I see it in his eyes. I swallow "Is it, bad?" I ask timidly. Maybe he's just upset over something small, like me not being in our room like he told me to. He takes my hand and begins pulling me after him, not saying a word. Am I in trouble? I know I shouldn't have left the room but I didn't think anything was seriously wrong. Nothing is seriously wrong, is it?

Finally we reach our stateroom and he closes the door behind us, looking at me "Alice" he finally manages to say "We're sinking!". Sinking? Is this a cruel joke? The look on his face though, oh, I think we, but this ship isn't supposed to sink! My father's words from yesterday play in my mind, about the pressed calling the ships unsinkable, but it wasn't true. I look him in the eye "S... sinking?" I finally manage to ask. He nods "Yes, in an hour or so, all this will be underwater. Alice listen to me" he approaches me quickly, placing his hands on my arms "You have to get in a lifeboat, don't wait for me! You know there, there aren't enough for everyone. You need to get to one" he pauses, taking a deep breath to steady himself "Before they're gone".

I nod "I'll get in a boat Daddy. I'll get in one with you, because you're coming with me. Right?". He's coming to New York with me, he promised to take me to see the horse races! Is he about to cry? I've never seen him look like this before "Alice, go get your warmest coat, it's cold outside" he tells me. He's avoiding the question! I shake my head "You have to come with me!" I tell him. He walks into my bedroom, and I hear him shuffle through the closet before coming out with one of my blue coats. Before he gives it to me though, he goes to the closet, pulling out a lifebelt and putting it on me. Once it's on, he puts my coat on over it "You be a good girl for me and get on the boat, alright?" he asks.

There's nothing more for me to say than nod. I feel a lump in my throat, he isn't staying on the ship while it sinks, is he? He can't be! Before I can say anything though he has left the room, and I hear him going along the hallway telling people to put their lifebelts on. The ship is sinking? Before I leave the room though, I see the horse book sitting on the couch. Without thinking I pick it up, flipping through the pages until I find the thoroughbred page. Grabbing the page, I rip it out in a quick movement, stuffing it into my coat pocket. I want to show my mother something good out of this ship! And I don't think anyone will care about this book missing a page when it's at the bottom of the ocean.

Leaving the stateroom, I begin heading towards the deck. I have to be a good girl, and do what my father told me to. I have to be a good girl like he asked me to be! As I walk suddenly I stop in my tracks, what about Joey? And the third class? Are they underwater? I have to go make sure they get on a lifeboat too! I break into a run, trying to retrace my steps from the day I almost jumped off the back of the ship. When I get outside I am met by a burst of cold air, and crowds of people! They're starting to lower the lifeboats already? I have to hurry!

Running as fast as I can, I manage to get to the very back of the boat, but where to go from here? Can I remember the steps down to third class? There were a lot of stairs! I remember that much! There's the door I went through to get down there! Opening the door, I can already hear people yelling down below. Why aren't they just coming up here? I ran down the stairs, and down some more stairs, wow I'm really glad I'm not wearing a corset right now! HEY! My stupid corsets are going to be at the bottom of the ocean! Maybe I won't have to wear one ever again after this!

Finally I make it to a hallway, but it's closed off by a gate. I don't have a key for this gate though! I'm going to have to find another way, turning I ran down the hallway and turn down some other stairs. When I reach this hallway, I have to step in ankle deep water. Oh my god we're really sinking! There should NOT be water down here! "Joey?" I call, he has to be around here somewhere! These third class hallways are even more confusing than the first class! Where do I go? Don't panic, I can't panic!

There are people all over the place, wondering how to get to the deck. I point them all to the way I came, if I was able to come down that way, they should be able to go up that way. Still no sign of Joey, and the further down this hallway I go, the deeper the water gets. It's so cold! Madeleine's problems with being able to float aren't even going to matter, with water this cold she doesn't stand a chance! I hope she made it into a boat. When the water is about to my knees, I suddenly remember something very important. I don't know how to swim!

I wouldn't want to swim in this water anyway! Oh god now it's up to my waist! But I hear voices up ahead! I rush ahead and look up to see a stairwell, with crowds and crowds of people. They're being blocked off by a gate! Hey! It's Joey! "Joey!" I call, he turns "Alice! What are ya doin down here?" he asks, alarmed. I run up to him "I came to make sure you were alright! You know, since you saved me the other night". He smiles for a second then looks up "Well it was my pleasure to save the beautiful lady, but we're trapped down here like animals!" he tells me. I push my way to the front of the group, where someone is yelling for them to go back to the main stairwell. Are you kidding me? The water is coming up the stairs now? How are they supposed to go that way?

Wait a minute, I recognize this worker! He was one of the guys who gave me caviar on my first night! "Hey! You!" what was his name, what was his name? Oh yea! "Walter!". He looks at me "How do you know that?" he asks me, shocked. I roll my eyes "Because you served me dinner! Don't you remember me? From first class? I'm Mr. Andrews' daughter!" I tell him. He studies me for a minute, is he really having that much trouble. Is it because my hair isn't pinned up? Is it because I'm standing here in my pajamas?

Finally when the water begins creeping up and the people at the back of the group scream from the icy waters touching them he seems to recognize me "Oh yes! Miss Alice Andews!" he says. I bang on the gate "Open this gate! Please for god's sake there are women and children down here? I'M down here!" I tell him. He shakes his head "I'm not supposed to open the gate! You have to go back to the main stairwell!" he replies. I turn and point to the water "We would if we could! If you don't hurry we're all going to die! Please!". Now I'm starting to get really scared, it's up to the peoples' waists now!

He seems to realize there's no way for us to go back and he pulls out his keys "You won't tell will you?" he asks, as he unlocks the gates. When they're open I smile brightly at him, shaking his hand "No! Not at all! You jsut saved a lot of lives! Thank you!" I tell him. The people behind me flood the hallway, all heading up towards the deck. They should have a clear way there from here. Joey takes my hand and begins pulling me along "Come on, we have to get in a boat!". I shake my head "No, I have to find my father first. You save yourself Joey!".

Joey doesn't look like he wants to leave me, but I smile reassuringly at him "We'll meet up in New York alright?" I ask him. He nods "Yea! And I'll take you out somewhere for another good time!". I smile "Good luck Joey" I tell him, he nods "You too Lass" he replies before running down the hallway after the others. I turn and head the opposite direction, if I were my father where would I go? Not on the deck, at least I don't think so!

I have to find him! I'm not getting on any lifeboat without him! He told me this was our ship, if he plans to go down with it, then I'm going to go down with it too! How could this happen? Years to build this ship, and it'll all be for nothing in a few hours! And the man who, who saved me. I have to save him! I'm not leaving this ship without Mr. Andrews! I can't, I won't! It's settled then, I'm not leaving without him!

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**The boat be sinking! Oh Noes! **

**Liking the chapters a little better now that stuff is happening! So, please review and stuffs, and thanks for reading. **


	8. Chapter 8

Where could he be? I'm standing in the middle of the dining room, wondering where I would go if I was my father. I have no idea! But I'm not going to look all over the place on the deck, that's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and I'm sure it's even worse now than it was just a little while ago! I push my way into yet another room I've never been in before. I think this is the smoking room, and I only say that because of the ashtrays and such.

Am I crazy or is the floor beginning to tilt. I have to jump to the side quickly to avoid a rolling cart. I gotta hurry up and run! Sprinting up the incline, I suddenly stop dead in my tracks, I seem to be doing that a lot tonight. But I found him! He's standing in front of the fire place, staring at a picture. He looks so, I can't even describe it. "Daddy?" I ask, he turns sharply at my voice, his eyes widening "Alice! You're supposed to be on a boat!" he tells me. I run into him, wrapping my arms around him, I'm never letting him go "Not without you!" I tell him.

He wraps his arms around me "Alice, I can't go with you, I have to stay here. But you! You have your whole life to live! You can't it end here with me, it's only beginning". I sob "Not without you! You gave me this life!" I tell him, it's the truth! If it weren't for him, I'd still be a starving tramp, only now that the Titanic's at sea I wouldn't even have a home, I'd have to find somewhere else! I bury my face in his coat "Alice, you're soaking wet! You must be freezing!" he says, I shake my head, how can I be cold at a moment like this? There's no time to think about being cold!

Mr. Andrews takes his overcoat off, putting it on me over my blue coat. His voice is trembling slightly as he talks to me "Alice, you've been a good girl, a good daughter. I'd never give you up for anything in the world! I want the very best for you! Because..." he swallows and pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me tightly, I return the gesture "Because I love you". He loves me, has he ever told me that so directly? I always seemed to know he loved me, but he has never so directly said the three words. And you know, I've never said them to him either!

"I love you too Daddy! I love you, and I don't want you to die here! Not like this!" I tell him. I can't stop the sobs that rack my body now, I can't leave him! I can't leave him now! He hushes me "Alice, you need to go to New York, and then you need to go back to your mother, and Elba! You need to tell them something for me!" he says. I look up at him "What?" I choke out, what does he want me to tell them? That he died for no good reason? That everything he worked for for the past 3 years came crashing down in a matter of a few hours?

He smiles gently "You tell them that I love them, and that I'll always be with them. And I'll always, always be with you" he pauses, rubbing his thumb under my eye to wipe away my tears "I promise". The ship creaks around us and he looks up briefly before giving me a kiss on the forhead, and one on each cheek "There, three kisses, one for you, and one for your mother and Elba. Can you deliver that message for me?" he asks. I nod "I'll tell them! I promise".

I suppose I have to leave him now, I'm running out of time. I swallow back my tears "I love you Daddy" I tell him, just one more time. Before I can leave, he looks me in the eyes "Alice" he breathes "I'm sorry I didn't build you a stronger ship". The guilt in his eyes, no, he can't possibly think this is all his fault! My heart shatters, I love him so much, it hurts me to see him this way! I shake my head, throwing my arms around his neck "It doesn't matter anymore" I practically whisper. I can see the tears rolling down his cheeks "You gave me something better than a silly ship. You gave me life, and life is worth so much more than a ship no matter how big and grand". Woah, did I just say that? That was, that was deep!

The ship creaks again, a continuing warning that I'm running out of time. I stand on my tippy toes and give him a kiss on the cheek "Goodbye Daddy" I say. He takes my hand "Alice, one last thing" he says. I look up at him and he seems to be having as much trouble with his emotions as I am "Don't look back. Just keep going". I hug him tightly and he kisses the top of my head. Taking a deep breath, the last breath I'll ever take in his arms, I turn and walk to the revolving door, pushing my way out. I want to look back, I want to see him, remember him forever. But I can't, I have to keep walking.

Once I'm clear of the smoking room, I run, run as fast as I can to the boat deck. When I get there everything is in chaos! Where do I even go from here? My heart still aches, I want my father and I want him right now! I'm scared, and I don't know what to do or where to go! As I walk along the deck I hear someone call my name. I turn to see Mr. Ismay running up to me, ushering me with him. I can see a lifeboat that he has been helping to load. There aren't that many people around it, I think they're all down by the other lifeboats.

Mr. Ismay helps me in, and once I'm sitting I take a deep breath and pull my father's coat around me tighter. Oh god, oh god this is all I'm going to have left of him! I begin sobbing again, I want Mr. Andrews! I don't want to leave this ship without him with me! I hear the officer beginning to order the men to prepare to lower us down. I can hardly breath I'm crying so hard! Suddenly someone jumps into the boat and sits next to me, rigidly. Finally the order is given to lower and the person next to me lets out a little sigh before turning to me, "Alice?".

It's my stupid grumpy uncle! What is he doing on this boat? Didn't he hear? Women and children only? Oh what the hell am I complaining for? I'd rather have him here than nobody! I don't care anymore! I don't care how annoying he can be sometimes, he's here! With me! If I can't have my father, I suppose I can have him for now! He's the only person I really know on this ship besides my father. I bury my face in his shoulder and sob "Mr. Ismay! He wouldn't come! I tried to make him but he wouldn't!". He hushes me "Deep breaths Alice" he tells me, trying to be soothing.

A rocket is launched off the sinking ship and I look up at it as it lights the night sky. I've never seen a firework before! I never want to see any again! I hate them! We touch the water and the officers begin to row away from the ship. As I'm able to see more and more of Titanic as a whole, my already shattered heart breaks even more. The bow is all the way under the water, and the stern is up in the air! What must have happened to my father right now? Was he still standing at that fireplace? Or had gravity made him fall to the end of the room? Why am I thinking of this? I bury my face further into Mr. Ismay's shoulder. How could this happen? Why were we even sinking in the first place? What caused such hell to break loose?

I can hear the people screaming, as the ship sinks farther and farther into the dark ocean. I glance up at Mr. Ismay to see if he might reassure me, but he's watching the ship sink, a look of horror plastered on his face. I never thought I'd see him look like that. I also never thought I'd be able to see the color actually drain from a person's face, let alone Ismay's. He wraps his arms around me suddenly, as a sickening cracking sound is heard.

This all seems so impossible! Maybe it's some sort of nightmare! Yea! That's it! A nightmare! From being sick yesterday! I'll wake up and my father will come in, and he'll comfort me and everything will be alright! Yes, it has to be a dream! When I wake up everything will be just fine, and we'll arrive in New York just as planned! Me and Mr. Andrews will see the horse races, at that racetrack just like he promised! What was it called? Bel something, Belmont! Yes! Belmont! We'll go there together!

During my daydream I almost missed the ship breaking in half. I can't even comprehend what my father must be thinking right now, let alone be doing. What if he's dead right now? Already gone? But he can't be! It's all a dream! I must be absolutely hystarical right now because Mr. Ismay is petting my hair, hushing me. I think he wants me to stop watching, and I want to stop watching too! But I just can't rip my eyes from the scene in front of me! I've never seen anything like it, and I don't think I'll ever see anything like it ever again in my lifetime. And thank the lord for that, because I never want to see this all again!

And now, it really seems to be the end! The ship is almost straight up in the air now, and it's lowering into the darkness. Farther, and farther, the screams are getting louder and louder the farther down it goes. There are people at the top of that ship! Some of them drop away, falling sickening heights into the water. And then, it's simply gone! As though it never was! The only thing that hints to it's existence is the floating debris and the hundreds of people all screaming and yelling and swimming in the water. I let out a cry, the ship is gone forever, and therefore, so is Mr. Andrews!

What is there to do now? I look up again at Mr. Ismay to see if he might give me any comfort, any hints. But no, his head is bowed and he refuses to make eye contact with me. He looks genuinely defeated, and that's exactly how I feel right at this moment. I suppose the best thing to do right now is try to get comfortable. I lower myself slowly, resting my head on Mr. Ismay's lap. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact, he continues petting my hair quietly. At least we can both be distressed together.

* * *

"It's grown quiet" I say softly. I've stopped crying, about an hour ago. Mr. Ismay continued stroking my hair for a while, but he stopped not long after I had calmed down. There's no reply to my comment and I glance up at my usually talkative uncle. He's staring out to sea, his expression unreadable. He looks haunted, what's running through his head right now, I can hardly imagine!

After a long moment I shift my position slightly and he looks down at me. I've seen that look in a person's eyes before, I saw it in Mr. Andrews' eyes when he was saying he was sorry, for not building me a stronger ship. That's the look of extreme guilt, guilt over the deaths of hundreds of people. It wasn't his fault though, it wasn't anybody's fault. It couldn't have been, it was an accident! An accident is all!

I close my eyes and try to imagine I'm back on the Titanic, not when it was sinking of course, but back to before. Launching day! Yes! My father was so happy on that day, everyone was! The sun was shining, people were cheering us on as we pulled away from the dock! Everything was perfect right at that moment, how could it all have gone so wrong just a few days later? Not even a week!

Sleep actually feels really good, but it's far too short lived! I feel someone shaking me, quite frantically. "Alice! Wake up! Please!" is that Mr. Ismay? I hardly recognize his voice if it is! I crack open an eye and look up at him. He sighs heavily in relief "Thank god! Oh thank god!" his voice is trembling terribly. What's the matter with him? I was just sleeping! I sit up and look at him "What's the matter?" I ask him drowsily, rubbing my eyes.

He still seems a little anxious "I, I thought you'd, you'd died! Oh Alice don't do that again!" he tells me. Died? Me? Mr. Ismay must see the confused look on my face because he takes a deep breath "People have been dying from the cold, in the night! I thought you'd gone too! You wouldn't answer me and..." I cut him off before he can continue "I'm sorry I scared you!". He eases slightly, but he's still tense and nervous and I lean against his shoulder "I won't fall asleep again" I tell him gently. He merely nods and then begins gazing out at sea again.

It's as if we're the only two people in this lifeboat as he begins talking to me "All those people" he murmers "There weren't enough lifeboats. And, and I was the one who made it so". I listen to him quietly as he tries to control himself, I don't think he wants to cry, men aren't supposed to cry. His words are causing tears to brim in my own eyes though, I remember my father wanting more lifeboats! We could have saved him if only, I let out a sob, if only there were more boats!

The morning light is beginning to come across the sky and Mr. Ismay hushes me "Don't cry anymore, please" he pauses for a long time "Your father wouldn't like it". This ceases my cries immediately, I'd promised my father no more tears a few nights ago hadn't I? I broke that promise a long time ago of course, but maybe I can make it up by not crying for the rest of the time. If I'm brave, maybe he'll be proud of me! Yea! He'll look down on me and be so proud! He promised me he would always be with me, and I've never doubted him, I'm not going to now.

As it grows lighter and lighter, I can make out other lifeboats floating around near us. All of the people in those boats look to be in as bad an emotional state as we are. I wonder what mother will say, when Mr. Andrews and I don't return home as planned. Where am I even supposed to go when we make it to America? The original plan was to stay a few days and then return home on the Titanic! But that certainly isn't going to happen. Should I stay with Mr. Ismay? Does he want me to stay with him? I would feel horrible to simply leave him, after all he is like my Uncle, whether he approves of it or not. But after everything, I don't think he'll mind.

I see the shape of a ship in the distance. Is that the ship that's supposed to rescue us? Where were they before? You know what? I don't even care anymore, I don't have it in me to care anymore! I'm so tired, and my heart is aching. All those people, I'll never see most of them again. I can only wonder what became of them, Mr. Astor, Mr. Guggenheim, Mr. Straus! All of them first class men, did any of them make it? Or did they follow my father to the bottom of the ocean? Did Madeleine end up in the water like she feared?

Some of the surrounding lifeboats begin rowing towards the rescue ship, ours beginning to follow them. I look up at Mr. Ismay, I want to ask him what's going to happen once we board that ship. But the look on his face tells me he's not going to be able to give me an answer. Therefore, I'm not going to burden him with the question, I'm just going to wait and see what happens!

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**Reviews anyone? Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

We have to wait our turn before we can board the ship that has come to rescue us. I'm a little scared, because the closer and closer the ship gets, the more wound up Mr. Ismay seems to be getting. I'm still leaning on his shoulder, and I can feel him trembling. Is he afraid? Is he upset? Anxious? What am I supposed to do about it? He's mumbling about something, I can't really understand him, but I think I heard him say something about food. Is he really thinking about food at a time like this?

Finally it's our turn to get on the ship. Oddly enough, I'm feeling a bit stronger now that I've spent most of my time crying, I can conquer the world right now! I need to conquer the world, I need to be strong for my father's sake, and it appears I need to be strong for Mr. Ismay's sake too! The minute he's on the deck he's bolting away, shoving past people and demanding food. I just stand there for a moment, watching him go. Well thanks a lot dear uncle! Glad you care about me so much!

It's clear he isn't going to turn around, so I sigh and lower my eyes to the deck, trudging along to find a place to sit and think by myself. Many people are standing around, sobbing as hard as I was not too long ago. I pull my father's coat around me tighter, I don't have to stand around here with all the sobbing people, I only had one family member on that ship, and I know for a fact that he will not be coming onto this boat, ever.

Now what? What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Sighing, wow, is that the only thing I can do today? It seems like the only thing I can do is sigh, but I suppose that's a lot better than crying isn't it? I continue scanning the deck for an empty space, once I see one, I walk over to it and plop down. Honestly, after sitting all those hours in the lifeboat, I'm a little antsy, but I think I need to just sit and figure things out before I go walking about trying to get my jitters out.

Hey, wait a minute! When I sat down, I heard something hit the deck, something hard. I reach my hand into one of my father's pockets, there's something in here! I wrap my fingers around it and pull it up, in front of my eyes. It's his pocket watch! Oh god, his pocket watch! I flip it open and it shows me the time, the exact time! It's still ticking too, all this time it's been simply ticking away! There's not even a scratch on it, it's as though nothing ever happened to it, it looks just like it always does when my father pulls it out to check the time. He did that a lot, checking the time, I suppose time was important to him, I also suppose it doesn't matter much to him anymore. I carefully place the watch back in his pocket and check the other pocket. There's something in here too! Wow, my father's coat has a lot of stuff in it, you'd think he'd be weighed down by all this stuff! Ok maybe only two things but this other thing is kinda big! I can't even grab it like the pocket watch, it's too big to fit in my hand!

Pulling it out, my heart nearly stops beating for a moment. It's a book, but not just any old book, I'd recognize the leather cover of this anywhere, it's my father's journal! The one he was always writing in, the one I asked about and he told me he was just writing things about Titanic in it! Now I can find out what it really says. I open it up to the first page, where I'm met by Mr. Andrews' perfect scroll. I wish I could write like this, my writing skills are about the same as my reading skills, lousy.

There's only one problem with finding out what this journal really says, I can't read any of this! It's not that it's hard to read, I can make out each individual perfect letter, it's just that, my reading skills really haven't improved since the last time I read. Hey! That page in the book! Is it alright? I put the journal back in my father's coat pocket before going digging in my own coat. I quickly locate the paper and pull it out of my pocket, unwrapping the crumpled mess. It's a little damp, and some of the letters smudged. But I can still read it, the grey horse is still just as picture perfect as it was on the Titanic.

My attention is taken away by a steward prodding me "Miss?" he asks. I look up at him, he looks tired and we've all only just gotten here, poor fellow. He holds out a cup of steaming liquid for me. Well, I suppose I could drink this, I'm not really cold but alright. I take the cup and thank him, staring at the dark liquid, I'm pretty sure it's tea. There's only one way to find out for sure! I have to taste it! What if it's not tea though? What if it's something really gross, like caviar?

Why am I even putting so much thought into this? Is it because I'm not really thirsty? I smile slightly at my own thoughts, they're sorta like my usual thoughts. Alright, I'm just going to taste this now and whatever it is, I'm gonna like it! Maybe! Bringing the cup up to my lips, I take a small sip. Well, it's not tea, it's actually something way better! It's hot chocolate! You know, maybe being on this ship isn't so bad! Hot chocolate is a special treat for me, the only one who ever gave me any was, Mr. Andrews. My eyes begin to brim with tears at the thought, are you kidding me? I was doing so well too! No! No! I'm not going to cry again! I promised to stay strong and I'm going to!

The hot chocolate has already set my mind racing though, all the way back to my first Chistmas with my new family. Elba was a little less than a month old, and I'd only been with my new family about a month, maybe a month and a half at the most. I was just starting to be up and about at that time after being in bed with my injuries, and just starting to really bond with my new parents. I remember, it was only a few days before Christmas, and father had told Mrs. Andrews to get some rest because Elba had been fussy all day, and was continuing to be fussy even after dinner. So mother went to bed, and me and father had to stay up and try to keep Elba content.

Father told me I didn't have to stay up with him, he said I should go rest too. But I told him I didn't mind staying up and helping with Elba. He was so tired from work, I don't think he had it in him to fight me to go upstairs. So the two of us stayed up together and tried to get Elba to settle down. She didn't make it an easy task by any means either! Whenever I held her she'd reach up and pull a pin out of my hair. Within the hour my hair was completely loose because little Elba had managed to take every single pin out! It was almost midnight by the time we finally got her to go to sleep and stay that way. And in order to celebrate our success in conquering the infant, my father made us hot chocolate.

At the time, I'd never had such a thing before, never even heard of it. I'd never even heard of chocolate before that night! Mr. Andrews was completely shocked by that, he asked me if I'd ever had any candy or sweets before. Of course I answered him with an honest, no. And so, he gave me hot chocolate and told me it would be the best thing I ever tasted in my life. Well, he was definately right! I downed that hot chocolate quite fast! Once we'd finished he took me upstairs to bed, and tucked me in. After that night, whenever we were up late together, whether it was because he was working on blueprints or because Elba was fussing again, we'd have hot chocolate. I'd only have it on those occations, which made it that much more special, it was just between us. Any other time though, he snuck me candy and anything else sugary. I asked him why he gave me candy for no reason once, he told me it was to make up for all the years I had to suffer without knowing about sweets.

Now here I am, drinking hot chocolate all by myself on a strange ship, surrounded by people I don't even know, at some early hour in the morning! I wish my father was here, even if it was just for a moment! Hot chocolate, even though it's my favorite drink, just isn't quite the same without him. Looking around the deck, it looks like a lot of people are beginning to disappear, or at least people off the Titanic. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn, looking up expecting it to be some steward or something, but no! It's a maid, but I've seen her before! This is Madeleine Astor's maid!

"Are you miss Alice Andrews?" she asks me, her timidness reminds me slightly of Angelica, I wonder if she made it off the ship, I hope so. I finally nod "That's me", the maid looks relieved, like she's been looking for me for a while. She kneels down next to me, lowering her voice "Madeleine has been asking about you, can you come with me please?" she asks. Can I go? HA! Nothing's going to stop me from going to Madeleine! She's asking for me, I'll be there!

Standing, the maid turns and begins leading me inside the ship. I don't really take the time to look at the hallways or anything, I know they won't compare to the Titanic, not one little bit. Finally we make it to a room and the maid turns to me "Madame is beside herself, hopefully you'll be able to calm her down" she tells me. With that, she pushes the door open and ushers me in.

Madeleine is sitting on a bed in the room, which is probably only half the size of her stateroom back on the Titanic. She has a blanket over her small frame, which is trembling as she sobs heavily into her hands. I approach slowly "Madeleine" I call softly, reaching out touching her arm. She lowers her hands and peaks up at me with tearful eyes, her expression turns to one of great relief "Oh Alice, you're alive!" she says, her voice quivering. I nod, taking her hands and sitting on the bed next to her "That's right, I'm alive. I told you I'd be alright, remember?" I ask. Her lip trembles as she nods "I was so scared, John had to help me into a lifeboat off the promonade deck, through a window! I was so frightened that he'd drop me but he didn't!" she lets out a sob "He wanted to come with me, but they wouldn't let him!".

She practically collapses into my arms and I feel the tears well in my own eyes. I can't cry, I have to stay strong! I just have to, no matter what! She sobs for a few moments before continuing her story "He, he asked the officer what boat number it was, so he could find me again, and they told him. And he told me, he said 'The sea is calm. You'll be alright, I'll meet you in the morning'. Then he gave me his gloves and I asked him about Kitty! He told me he was going to go find Kitty! I, I haven't seen him since! And I'm no fool, I know he died last night. I don't know how, but he isn't here!". It's at this point she completely breaks down and continues sobbing into me, and I just sit quietly, wrapping my arms around her and taking it quietly, I'm still too busy trying not to cry myself! Oh poor Mr. Astor!

As she spoke, I was also trying to think of the best course of action to take. What will get her mind off Mr. Astor? Didn't she just say something about a kitty? "Who's Kitty?" I prod gently, she sniffles "Our darling dog. Me and John were so very fond of her. We almost lost her on our honeymoon in Egypt!" she lets out a weak little laugh "We weren't very good at naming things" she says. Yes! A laugh, maybe a weak one, but it was there! I offer her a gentle smile "You know, you agreed to have breakfast with me this morning? Are you hungry?". She shakes her head "No, well, maybe just a little bit". I laugh softly "It's ok to be hungry you know, I'm hungry too. And I know, that if my father were here he'd want me to eat". Well, part of that is the truth, and part of that is a lie. I'm not really that hungry either, but I'm sure Mr. Andrews would make me eat if he were here.

The maid brings us back some food, it isn't much, a few rolls with jam and some tea. But it will definately do! Me and Madeleine eat, and throughout the entire course I try to think of the funniest stories I know. One of them in particular makes her laugh so hard she almost chokes on her bread! The oddest part, is that the story I told her was of true accounts! I was there for that!

During my travels, I have quite a few travel stories, before I reached Belfast, I met a batty old lady who thought she was queen of the canary islands. She was a mad woman! There were so many birds on the roof of her house that you couldn't even see the roof! And I'm not even going to try and remember what she was wearing, so many bright colors, so many I don't even know whats! I remember seeing her running barefoot through the village, screeching her head off, and those blasted birds would follow her! Oh it was the most bizarre thing I'd ever seen! I didn't stay in that town too long, after three days of seeing that woman I knew I was going to have to find somewhere else! Crack of dawn that lady woke up every single day! To screech at the rising sun! And talking to this lady? Ha! Forget about it! I think the only thing she knew how to say in english was 'I AM QUEEN OF THE CANARY ISLANDS!'. I couldn't even get her to tell me her name! Whenever I asked she'd go 'WAKA'! Maybe Waka was her name? I'm not entirely sure even to this day!

At least Madeleine is feeling a little better now, at least for the time being. After cheering her up at breakfast, I decide I should go out onto the deck again. I'm sure all the boats have been unloaded by now, and I'd like to see if maybe some other people I know are on them. Of course, my father won't be, but people like Joey and that Molly Brown woman! Bidding Madeleine goodbye, I begin my trek up to the deck. Luckily for me, these halls are not quite as complicated as Titanic's maze of completely identical hallways, and I manage to get to the deck in a few minutes.

According to my father's pocket watch, it's a little bit past noon. That means that everybody has been here at least a couple of hours, and yet, everyone is still in tears! Well, I take that back, everyone who is still awake is in tears! A lot of people seem to have either gone off into rooms like Madeleine has, or they're sprawled out on the deck sound asleep. There's no class distinction either, although I'd say more than half of the people I see on deck right now are third class.

Joey, I saved him from the lower decks, surely he's around here somewhere! I know he's a man, but I've seen a couple of fellows around, Mr. Ismay made it didn't he? So I'm sure that Joey could be around here somewhere, I just have to look! I begin walking around the deck, finally I get a chance to stretch my legs and walk! Maybe I'll just stroll around the deck for a little while instead of looking for anybody! You know what! Yea! That's what I'll do! If anyone wants to find me, they can come get me! I'm walking!

Ok, after about an hour of walking, I'm bored of walking. This ship is so small compared to Titanic, there's nothing to see! I can walk from one end of this ship to the other in only a few minutes, it didn't even seem possible on Titanic! You know what, I'm just going to lean on the railing like I did on the Titanic and look out to sea. Open water, nothing as far as the eye can see! Well, at least something is a little familiar!

"I hope you're not planning on jumpin again, would be pretty silly to have made it this far only to jump!" someone says behind me, before turning around I know exactly who it is. I spin around "Joey!", I can't believe it's him! See? I knew I was right! I knew he'd be here! We hug and he laughs "Well now that I've found ya you better be holdin up to your word!" he tells me. I smile and laugh "What word?" I ask him, what is he even talking about? He point out across the water "Ya promised we'd meet up in New York! And I told ya we'd go have ourselves a good time! You haven't had a change of plans since then have ya?" he asks.

That's right! I did say that, to get him to leave me behind! I laugh "Well, I don't really have any plans, no. I suppose one night out won't change my life!" I say. It's the truth, I haven't got any plans once we reach New York. Of course, I still need to find Mr. Ismay and see what he has to say. I'm pretty sure he designated himself as my guardian on the lifeboat, but then again, he did completely ditch me for the sake of his stomach. Maybe I'm better off with Joey! For all I know Mr. Ismay has completely forgotten about me!

Joey nudges me "Hey, I know you're probably a wee bit upset over last night. But how bout we go sit down right there!" he gestures to a bench "And I'll tell ya about the horse I'm gonna be ridin in the Derby!". Sounds good enough to me! We both go over to the bench and sit, and he quickly launches off into telling me all about his 'not so world class' racehorse. He says he has a better chance winning the kentucky derby on a donkey than on this horse! When he's done telling me about his horse, I tell him about mine, well, Mr. Andrews' dream horse. I even show him the crumpled page in the book, he gasps "You ripped that outta a book, that didn't even belong to you? That's the best thing I've seen all day!".

After we laugh about that he leans back on the bench, lookin up at the sky "Ya know, there's these things called claimin races. Basically, the horse runs the race and then you can buy it for whatever price is set. Lot cheaper than gettin em at the market I'll tell ya! And they already be trained for ridin! Bet you can find a horse like the one you're looking for in one of those. All you need is a little bit of money!" he tells me. I don't have any money, any money we had, went down with the ship last night! But I do know someone who does have money, probably lots of it! Mr. Ismay! I think it's time I go find him, I've given him all day!

I stand "Joey, I have to go find my grumpy Uncle, will I see you again?" I ask. He stands, taking my hand and kissing it like a gentleman before giving me a goofy smile "Well, considering the circumstances, I don't think I'm goin anywhere. So sure, I'll see ya tomorrow!" he tells me. I laugh and give him a final hug goodbye before going back into the ship in search of Mr. Ismay. I wonder what I'll find, I haven't seen him all day! Something in the pit of my stomach warns me though, that what I'm about to see is going to change my life, for the worst.

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**Couldn't think of what to write, and then when I finally started writing I just couldn't stop! This is one of the longest chapters!**

**Thanks to my lovely reviewers! Keep on reviewin folks! I really appreciate the feedback! As always, Thanks for Reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

I heard we'll be arriving in New York in a day or so, I don't exactly know how I should feel about it. How can I remain excited about it when Mr. Andrews isn't here? Actually, feeling anything, even grief and sadness, is a little difficult. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since arriving on this ship! I'm afraid to sleep, I'm afraid of what waits for me in my dreams. Sleep used to be so comforting, one of my favorite things, and yet now when I try to close my eyes for a moment, all I can see is Titanic disappearing into the dark depths of the ocean, all I can hear are the screams of people begging for their lives to be spared. Besides, I have to stay awake and look after Mr. Ismay, he needs me.

Finding him was no easy challenge, and even when I did find him, I didn't really find him. All I found was a shell of the man that once used to be Mr. Ismay. He was absolutely beside himself with guilt, and when he saw me he let out the most pitiful sob I ever heard, clinging to me as though his life depended on me! I tried to console him as best I could, like he had for me in the lifeboat. But I just couldn't do enough for him, and eventually one of the ship's doctors came and actually drugged him!

Since then, Mr. Ismay hasn't really been doing much. He slept once or twice, because of the medication, but otherwise he has been doing a lot of nothing. Which, is exactly what I've been doing! A whole lot of nothing! I haven't even gotten to go out and see Joey again, like I said I would. I feel incredibly guilty to have ditched him, but Mr. Ismay simply needs me here. He needs someone to watch him, what if he tries to do something stupid because of the guilt? Even when he's drugged, I simply don't trust him alone. Who knows what he'll do, who knows? I know he's a grown man, but everything seems to be backwards, Titanic being on the bottom of the ocean, the world may not have ended because of it but it's changed completely!

Well, I think I've memorized the interior of this cabin by now, because all I seem to do is stare at the walls, or the floor, or sometimes I'll even lie on my back on the floor and stare at the ceiling! When I'm not staring at the room, I'm staring at my father's pocketwatch, watching the second hand tick away. It's the only normal thing I can think of to comfort me, when my father was here this watch was ticking, and even now when the watch's master is lost forever, it still ticks steadily away.

That's what I'm doing right now, staring at the watch. I've been lying on the floor with the watch in front of my face for about five minutes. I think Mr. Ismay is sleeping again, at least he was last time I checked in on him. We don't speak to each other, actually he has hardly said a word to anyone, the last time I heard his voice he was ordering the doctor to allow me to stay in the cabin with him. At least he's slightly aware of my presence! He won't talk to me though, even when I try to coax a few words out of him. Maybe he just doesn't know what to say to me, which is fine, I suppose even if I could get Mr. Ismay to speak, I wouldn't know what to speak to him about either. Titanic was all he used to talk about, now it's gone.

This floor is so comfortable! Well, maybe not that comfortable, but I like lying here on the plush carpet. My father's coat acting as a blanket also makes me feel very warm, I can't sleep though, sleeping is bad! But oh, the ticking of the watch is steadily pulling me to sleep. I don't want to sleep! But, but I can't even fight it anymore! Maybe just a minute, I'll just close my eyes for a moment, just to rest. Ah, that feels so good!

I'm still fearful that I'll have a dream. But so far, nothing about the Titanic has invaded my slumber. Dreamless sleep is fine, but if I must have a dream, I hope it's a good one, with chocolate rivers and hills made of ice cream. That sounds like a fun place to be, oh and there have to be horses there too! I want horses in my dreamland! All different ones, with colored ribbons in their manes! And the leader of my group of horses will be a mighty grey one, with a black mane and tail and a white spot on his forhead just like in the picture! Maybe they'll have wings, so they can fly! And I'll ride on their backs as we soar over the sugar coated clouds!

Even though I keep thinking about all the lovely things I'd like to see in my dream, I suddenly find myself on Titanic. No! This is exactly what I didn't want to happen! I didn't want to see this ship ever again! Not even in my dreams! I look around frantically, nobody's screaming, as far as I can hear, nobody's dying. Maybe it won't be so bad, maybe I'm just on the ship like before it sank, when I thought is was the best place in the whole wide world! Wait a minute, I'm standing in the smoking room again! No! This is just like the sinking! Except, the floor is tilting at a much sharper incline than I remember. If I'm here, then my father must be, yes! He's still there! By the fireplace, hanging onto the mantle!

His head is bowed and he doesn't seem to notice me. "Daddy?" I call, he doesn't hear me! I try to approach him, but it's as though my feet have been nailed to the floor! The ship creaks and I begin to tremble with fear, something is definately going to happen, something terrible. Oh god don't let me see it, I don't want to see anything! My father looks up briefly, adjusting the clock, before bowing his head and closing his eyes once more. What does that clock say? 2:15? And from what I've heard, Titanic completely vanished at 2:20. That means only 5 minutes! Oh please don't let me see something terrible! Please don't let me! I feel tears slip down my cheeks and I can't stop shaking from the fright, I don't want to see this! I'm so scared! What's going to happen to him, to me?

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the windows shatter and water pours in! My father barely has time to raise his head and look before the wave has crashed into him, smashing him into the mantle and knocking him unconscious. I try to call out for him but the same wave that crashed into him takes me down. Help! I can't swim! Oh this water is cold! So cold! It's as though I'm being stabbed a thousand times all over! I try again to call out for my father again but saltwater fills my mouth and I cough. I can't swim! Somebody help me! Save me! Save my father! I don't even know where he is! The water sucks me under, please save me! Somebody save me I'm going to die!

There's a voice calling for me, help me help me! Whoever you are please save me! I'm going to die! I can't breath! Suddenly I jolt awake, gasping for air, oh god it was only a dream! Thank god! I begin to cry, in spite of me wanting to stay strong for the remainder of the voyage I cry! "Alice, please don't cry! It was only a dream, you're safe" a gentle voice speaks from my side. I turn my head to see Mr. Ismay sitting in a chair next to my bed, stroking my hand gently and trying to sooth me "It's alright" he tries to assure me again. I suddenly realize I'm not on the floor, where I fell asleep in the first place, I'm lying on a bed.

For a moment though, I can't think of anything but what I just saw. It was horrible, I never want to see it again! I reach around me to pull my father's coat closer for comfort, but I notice I'm not wearing it anymore! I look around frantically "Where is it?" I gasp, turning to Mr. Ismay "Where did you put it?" I demand. He stands up and crosses the room quickly, where I can see he has carefully draped it over the back of a chair. He picks it up wordlessly, and then brings it back to me, I rip it from him and hug it tightly, burying my face in the fabric and turning away from Mr. Ismay. I'll never let it go, and Mr. Ismay isn't going to lay a hand on it ever again! I was a fool to let daddy go, I should have stayed there and died with him! After everything he's done for me and he died alone in the most horrible way!

Mr. Ismay hushes me "Alice, listen to me. Whatever you saw in your dream, it wasn't real" he tells me, placing a gentle hand on my arm. I shake my head and continue to cry "Oh no Uncle Ismay" I sob "It was real, it had to have been real!". He stares at me with a surprised look on his face "What did you just call me?" he asks. I turn around and look at him, sniffling "What?" I ask, what is he talking about? His voice trembles as he hands me a handkerchief "You just called me your Uncle!" he tells me. Did I just call him that? I suppose I didn't realize it in the moment, I smile slightly "I'm sorry" I tell him, I'm not sorry.

He shakes his head "No, it's alright" he tells me, patting my hand before running a hand through his hair. Usually it's slicked perfectly, but it's completely disheveled now. Actually, Mr. Ismay's overall appearance is disheveled, he's still in his pajamas, which are completely wrinkled, and besides the mustache, he's usually pretty clean shaven, which isn't the case now. He sighs and looks at me "Why didn't you tell me you were tired? You shouldn't have gone to sleep on the floor" he tells me gently. "I didn't mean to sleep on the floor Mr. Ismay, it just happened" I reply, it's the truth! I hadn't even meant to fall asleep in the first place!

"This is your father's pocket watch isn't it?" he asks suddenly, holding up the golden watch by the chain, dangling it in front of me. I reach out and take it back from him, putting it back carefully into the pocket of my father's coat "It was in his coat pocket, which he put on me to keep warm" I reply honestly. I don't really want to talk about this, but I have no one else left to open up to. Something tells me Mr. Ismay doesn't have anyone to open up to either, maybe it would be best if I told him some things, then maybe he'd open up just a little bit.

I reach into the coat pocket and pull out my father's journal "I found this too!". I run my hand over the cover of it before holding it out to Mr. Ismay "I want to read it, but I don't know how to read very well" I admit. He takes the journal from me carefully, as though it will burst into flames the minute he touches it. He opens it to a random page and begins reading it, as his eyes scan the page I can see the color slowly draining from his face. Hey! Mr. Ismay can read it! Maybe he'll read it out loud for me so I can know what it says! It's worth a shot!

Before I can answer he quickly shuts the book and gives it back to me, I push it back towards him "Mr. Ismay, since I can't read it, maybe, could you read it to me?" I ask. He stares at the journal a long time before swallowing "Alice, I think that this is something you need to read on your own someday. It's not something that should be read to you, don't share it with anyone. Understand?" he asks. I don't understand, why can't he just read it to me? He knew my father! I shake my head "But Mr. Ismay! I don't know how to read!" I press, he looks back down at the journal before pushing it to me once more "One day you'll learn how to read, then you will be able to read it for yourself".

We sit in silence before Mr. Ismay pats my hand "I think you should try to sleep a little bit. We'll be arriving in New York tomorrow. It's..." he pauses, like he's searching for the right words "It's going to be a big day". He stands to leave but I reach out and grab his arm "Wait! What's going to happen to me when we get to New York?". I have to make sure, if he tells me I'm on my own, then I'll have to go find Joey first thing tomorrow morning. But if he tells me to stay with him, then obviously I'll be staying with Mr. Ismay.

He sits back down in the chair next to the bed, he looks so sad, like he's pleading something of me. What do I have to give him though? I've given him everything I can already! Finally he speaks "Alice, I've wronged a lot of people. But if there's one person I wronged more than anyone, it was your father. If it weren't for me, he'd be here with you and you wouldn't be asking me this. Keeping you with me, making sure you make it back to Belfast, it's the least I can do for him" his voice pitches slightly as he speaks. Oh no, I didn't mean to make him cry! Please don't cry! I won't ask anymore questions! I'll be a good girl!

Even though I think he's on the verge of another breakdown, he continues "You're going to stay with me, and whatever you want you promise not to be afraid to ask me! Do you promise it?" he asks. I nod and he seems slightly relieved "I want to ask you one more thing" he says, softly "Can you ever forgive me?". Forgive him? For what? He hasn't done anything wrong! He has done nothing but try to support me as best he could, and yet he's sitting here begging me to forgive him! Does he believe my father's death, along with the deaths of all those passengers, is his fault? It isn't! Never! It was nobody's fault, I think. What do I say though? Do I forgive him? Do I tell him there's nothing to forgive?

"I forgive you Uncle Ismay" I finally reply, I think it was the best answer. He sighs and even smiles slightly before standing "Rest now, you're going to want to have your wits about you when we arrive tomorrow". With that, he's gone, leaving me to lie in this bed alone. He didn't even bid me goodnight! Gee thanks, well at least I know he cares about me a little bit, even if it is out of misplaced guilt. He told me to go to sleep, but after that dream I just woke up from, how can I possibly go to sleep? Just the thought of it makes my eyes brim with tears! I wipe them away quickly and close my eyes. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts!

There's one happy thought that springs to the front of my mind. It's a random memory, but one I've always cherished. It was January in Belfast, and it had snowed a lot the past day or so. I had been dying of cabin fever for a while, and Mr. Andrews offered to take me into town for a walk because everyone at the shipyard had the day off due to the snow. He said the air would do me some good, even though my mother argued that we'd catch cold!

The two of us left the house, both dressed in the warmest coats and hats we owned. Honestly, I don't think Mr. Andrews' hat was very warm, it was more 'in style' than warm. But it didn't matter then, I was finally getting out of that blasted house! Sure I loved the house, but I needed to get outside! We walked down a couple of streets, and I remember asking my father lots of questions as we walked, in my usual fashion. He answered every single one that I threw at him, I think he secretly enjoyed answering them even on the occations he had to remind me not to be rude. Eventually, we had walked all the way to the park, which was quite far from our house! My father decided to sit on a bench and rest for a moment, I decided to explore.

I spent a few minutes investigating the snow itself, because as a young girl I'd never been allowed to even touch it. I kicked it, I made footprints, I sat in it. Eventually I figured out that I could pack it into different shapes. How the gears turned in my mind as I packed a handful of snow into a ball, I looked up at Mr. Andrews, he was totally unsuspecting, he was reading the newspaper! Trying to stifle my giggles, I took the ball and hurled it at him, pegging him in the shoulder. He looks up from the paper with a surprised and indignified look on his face, which caused me to laugh. He brushed the snow off his shoulder before standing up, scooping up snow and patting it into a ball, throwing it at me. I dodged out of the way and quickly made another ball of snow, throwing it at him and hitting him again. I had good aim!

The snow war waged for a while, and ended when I dodged a snowball and it pegged a lady in the back of the head. We both immediately jumped as it made contact with her and my father stood there startled, having no idea what to do. Being the gentleman he was, I don't think he ever hit anyone with anything, he probably panicked over what to do about it! I'd learned from experience exactly what to do in situations like this though! I ran up to him, grabbed him by the hand and began racing out of the park with my head ducked, he took after my example and we both high tailed it out of there!

How we laughed once we were safe from that woman though! I told him that he needed to work on his aim, which he responded to by saying he was going easy on me! The look on his face when he pegged that lady though, it told otherwise! He still couldn't believe he'd hit her, I couldn't believe it either, which made it that much more funny! When we returned home, we both settled in front of the fireplace together and talked about something. I can't remember exactly what, but I ended up falling asleep to the sound of his voice.

Thinking about him talking is beginning to lull me to sleep in the present. I hug his coat closet to my chest, I miss him so much! But I'm not afraid to sleep now though, because as frightening as my nightmare was, I got to see my father! Just for that, I would go through it again! Hopefully though, whatever happens in my dreams now won't be half as scary, maybe I'll actually have a good dream. I need a good dream.

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**AAAARRRRRRG! FILLER! I hate this chapter. There are a few things I don't mind about it I guess, but it's kind of hard to write Alice. She can't exactly be her jovial self with everything she stood for at the bottom of the ocean. **

**Next chapter should be a little bit better. Will probably be either the last chapter before the epilouge or the second to last! So, we're almost at the end! Once again, THANK YOU FOR READING!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! One of the reasons this took so long was because I got no reviews, not even 1, and that made me very sad :( So, please review! Even if it's bad! Just tell me! Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

Thank goodness I'm not the fainting type, because the crowd that is waiting for us in New York would definately be faint worthy! There are so many people! You can't even see the streets! Cameras flash and people are yelling at us! Mr. Ismay is tense beside me as we wait our turn to leave this boat. If we should be worried about anyone fainting, it should probably be him! He looks scared to death!

Personally, I have only ever fainted once in my entire life and that was with my new family. It was mid July, and my mother was having a social gathering out in the garden. The sun was blazing and the ladies all fanned themselves, complaining of the 'unusually hot weather' we'd been having that summer, but it was determined it was probably hotter inside the house and outside in the garden. So, like the fools we were, we all stood around outside in the blazing sun.

That morning my mother had made my corset tighter than usual, she was still reducing my waist at the time, and she was especially determined to have it smaller that day because it was going to be my first time meeting these 'first class' people! I had the worst time, I could hardly breath! And the heat was definately getting to me. I don't remember what happened exactly, but one minute I was standing, and the next I was lying on the couch in the sitting room, my mother fanning me while my father was trying to get me to drink a glass of ice water. I remember I couldn't stop apologizing for ruining everything, but my mother assured me that I did nothing wrong.

My father stayed with me inside the house the rest of the day, getting me to drink a lot of water and eat a lot of ice pops to keep cool. Elba was also inside that day, because mother didn't want the sun to hurt her, so me and my father spent a lot of time playing with her. Elba was just starting to crawl around at that time, being 8 months old, and she was taking advantage of her new mobility, crawling around to every corner of the house, trying to get her hands on everything. And she was babbling too, me and my father spent quite a bit of that day trying to get her to say something, but to no avail!

Elba, thinking about her reminds me that I have to write to my mother! I'm not exactly looking forward to the challenge of having to write to her and tell her what happened, my spelling isn't that good, it's better than my reading, but I won't worry about any of it right now. Right now, I have to worry about getting through these crowds! It's our turn to walk down the gangplank, and the minute the people see my grumpy uncle they burst into an uproar that could make a person go deaf! I remain on his arm and walk with him down to the street, the officers and police nearby try to push people back. Cameras flash in my eyes, questions are thrown at me left and right. Hey! I don't want any pictures taken of me! I'm wearing my father's coat, over my regular coat, over my pajamas! And Mr. Ismay let me borrow his slippers because I realized I wasn't wearing any! I can't even begin to imagine what my hair must look like!

Mr. Ismay looks a bit more presentable than me, he finally cleaned himself up this morning and someone gave him a suit so he wouldn't have face the press in his pajamas. He's already going to be made out as being a coward, I don't see what difference it makes over what he's wearing. Luckily for me, nobody knows who I am, and I'd rather like to keep it that way! I don't want people questioning me about my father, it wouldn't be right for me to answer questions about him! However, as we push through the crowd trying to get to the nearest cab, I hear a woman desperately asking officers about Thomas Andrews. I turn to her voice, I'd like to tell her he's not coming, but Mr. Ismay pulls me along and I'm forced to follow him.

We make it to a cab and Mr. Ismay tells the driver to go to some hotel, and that he'll pay a lot if he can get us there quickly. I sit quietly in my seat and pull out my father's pocket watch, flipping it open. It's still going steadily, so I place it back into my pocket and wait until we arrive at the hotel. When we get there, Mr. Ismay quickly gets 2 rooms and ushers me towards one of the lifts. "Now Alice, this is your room key. If you need anything, I'll be right next door. Just knock alright?" he asks, I nod and take the key as we finally make it to our rooms.

I enter my room and flop on the bed, I'm in New York! The streets didn't look like they were paved with gold, not like I'd be able to tell though, there were too many people. Besides, Mr. Ismay told me they weren't paved with gold, and so far he seems to be honest with me. So, if he says there are no gold streets, then I guess there aren't any. I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow. Honestly, even after everything, I'd like to go out and see the sights! All the things Mr. Ismay told me about that one day at tea! Manhatten's nights, and the bright lights of the Coney Island amusement park! I want to eat one of those things called a hot dog, which are supposed to be even better than a sandwich! And the horse races at Belmont! I bet Mr. Ismay would take me, or Joey!

Ah Joey, I sit up and reach into my pocket, I saw Joey earlier today before the ship arrived in New York. He told me he was staying with a friend for a little while because the Derby wasn't for another week or so. He wrote down the address for me! And here it is! I'll go there one of these days and see him! Maybe he'll take me to the races like my father was going to, and maybe he can help me pick a horse in the claiming races! That's my secret goal here in New York, I want a horse like the one in the picture! I'm going to have to ask Mr. Ismay for some money in order to buy the horse, but I'm sure he'll give me plenty of money! He told me if I wanted anything just ask. All I'm going to ask for is the horse though, and maybe ask him to take me out into New York to see the sights! That doesn't seem like too much to ask for!

* * *

I've been arroused by a loud banging at my door. But it's so early! I groan and pull a pillow over my head, whoever it is needs to understand I am busy with very important matters! Like getting some much needed sleep! They just keep banging on the door though, but now there's a voice to join the obnoxious banging "Alice! Open this door before my arms fall off!". What? That's a very peculiar thing to say. Now they've peaked my curiosity, whoever they are! I hop out of my bed and run to the door, I just have to know what would cause a person to say that!

Maybe I should leave them out there and see if their arms really do fall off! "ALICE!" the voice barks again, I quickly open the door and Mr. Ismay comes barging in, with an armload of boxes. He unloads them, or more like drops them, on the couch, wiping sweat off his brow "The staff is absolutely useless around here" he mutters before turning to leave. What? After an entrance like that he's just going to leave? I grab his arm "Hey! What's all this?" I ask him, still trying to stifle giggles.

He turns to me, is he blushing? "I um, thought you might need something more proper to wear" he replies, still trying to escape. I finally let myself laugh "Well this is a lot of boxes, what exactly did you buy?" I ask him, he glances at the boxes "Well I wasn't sure exactly what to buy!" he defends. I look at the boxes, there are more than I can count at first glance. I turn back to him, still laughing "Did you buy out the whole store?" I ask him, he shakes his head, smiling slightly "Might as well have, it took me almost all morning just to decide on those things! You should have everything you would need in there though. Now get dressed, or I'm going to change my mind about taking you out to see the city!". I immediately let go of his arm and race to the boxes, tearing them open like a child on Christmas morning. I want to see New York! I didn't think he's take me so readily, so soon! I thought I'd have to pry him to get him to take me!

Gee, Mr. Ismay sure wasn't kidding when he might as well have bought out the whole store! There are so many different dresses here to choose from! And shoes, and jewelry, and ew, corsets. Dang it Uncle Ismay! You couldn't just let me go without it? I can't even get into it by myself! What am I going to do? I look up and see a button on the wall to call staff, might as well ring for a maid. My father did it for me on Titanic, but I can be a big girl now and do it all by myself! I stand and ring the bell, nothing happens. Ok then, I'll just have to figure out this corset and these dresses by myself!

Suddenly there's a knock at the door and a voice calls out. Oh thank goodness! That button worked after all! I open the door and the room service maid shuffles in. Alright, now I just have to decide what to wear! This maid, much like Angelica, begins going through my clothes after she asks me what I want to wear and I tell her I have no idea. She picks up a pretty pink rose dress "I think this would look nice on you miss!" she tells me. Ok it's settled then! I'll wear it! She and I search through more boxes looking for shoes and jewelry that matches, along with hairpieces.

Once we have everything, she begins getting me into it. The corset being tightened upsets me ever so slightly, I haven't worn one in days! Last time I wore one, I was on the Titanic, I miss being on Titanic, I loved Titanic. Now I'm afraid of seeing it ever again, I try to blink away the few tears that spring to my eyes at the thoughts. My father would be so upset to know I no longer loved his most prized creation. He went down loving that ship, I ended up abandoning the ship and well, I don't think I hate Titanic, but I certainly don't love it like I once did. I think about this as the maid pins up my hair for me. Having my blonde mess of hair finally combed out and put up properly feels amazing! Finally, I'm ready to head out for the day! This is the best I've looked in quite a while!

I thank the maid and step out of my room, practically skipping next door to Mr. Ismay's room. I knock on the door and he almost immediately answers it. Obviously he went shopping for himself too, because he has a brand new suit, hat, and cane. Even his shoes look brand new! He holds out his arm to me and I take it "Alright Alice, I'm taking you to Coney Island today, I think it's, better to go there than in the city where the media is waiting to snap pictures of me. I'll have you know I had the absolute worst time this morning just trying to buy some decent clothing!" he rambles. He's starting to sound like his old, grumpy self, and I smile at that, I want the old Mr. Ismay back. I want the irritable, overly confident, pompous Mr. Ismay at my side. Which is odd, if someone asked me if I wanted that Mr. Ismay at my side a few months ago I would have said they were crazy!

We catch a cab once we reach the street, and I have to contain myself so I don't bounce in the seat. I remember last time I had this much trouble controlling myself, was when me and Mr. Andrews were on our way to get on the Titanic for the start of her maiden voyage. I deflate a bit at this, I shouldn't be so excited. Mr. Ismay must have noticed my sudden change because he looks over at me "Something the matter Alice?" he asks. I shake my head "No, I was just thinking. Last time I was this excited was when we were departing for Titanic's maiden voyage" I admit.

He becomes uneasy and swallows "Oh, I see" he pauses before continuing "You're excited to see Coney Island?" he asks, like he isn't sure. I laugh "Of course! You made it sound so amazing before! I want to see everything you told me about! Like the hot dogs! And the roller coaster! And everything else!". As I speak he nods "Yes, we can see all of those things" he tells me. When we get there he gets out, before coming to my side and opening the door for me. I bolt out and take in everything! Look at this place! It's so, amazing! Mr. Ismay offers his arm and I take it, there are a lot of people here, wouldn't want to get lost! Oh what should we do first? Where should we go?

Mr. Ismay leads me down the boardwalk "Well Alice, what shall we do first? Whatever you want to do, we'll go do it!" he tells me. As we walk I spot a curious thing, there are 6 or so metal tracks all in a row, with wooden horses on them! And people are riding on the horses like in a race! I point it out to Mr. Ismay "Oh yes, that's the steeplechase" he merely states, I tug his arm "Can we ride on it! Please?" I ask him. He stands and looks at it for a while "Well, I've never liked rides much" he admits, I begin heading towards it though, I want to ride the horses "Oh come on Mr. Ismay! It looks like fun! You can't knock it til you try it!" I tell him.

While we wait in line he continues to watch the ride with as though he has a hope it might suddenly break and then he won't have to get on it. Unfortunately for him, now it's our turn to get on! They tell us we both have to ride on the same horse, and Mr. Ismay has to be in front. He mounts the wooden horse and one of the ride attendants helps me get on behind him. "You may want to hold on miss" he tells me, suddenly I'm a little bit scared and I wrap my arms around Mr. Ismay's waist.

The ride starts and we begin going up the first lift hill. What if I fall off? Nothing to hold me on here? My grip on Mr. Ismay tightens and I can feel him tense up "Alice! If you're scared I'm going to be a very unhappy man! You were the one who wanted to get on!" he tells me. We reach the top of the hill with the other horses and the ride starts. At first I hold on so tight I think it's difficult for poor Uncle Ismay to breath, but as the ride continues I think both of us realize there's nothing to be afraid of. My grip loosens and I don't hide my face in the back of Mr. Ismay's jacket. We both laugh as we get off "That wasn't so bad!" he says proudly as we move out to the next attraction. Glad to have given him such a confidence boost! There's a big wooden structure up ahead, that reaches up to the sky. Mr Ismay points at it "That's a roller coaster!" he tells me. I begin tugging him "Let's go!".

Drop-The-Dips is what the ride's called. People scream as they ride it, I wonder why? Me and Mr. Ismay get put in a car, with a metal bar pulled down onto our laps. This is funny, but at least I'm not sitting behind him this time! The rollercoaster starts and begins clicking up a hill. I wonder how high this is? It's certainly far above the people's heads down below! We reach the top and I look down, this is a lot steeper than the horse ride. I'm not liking the looks of this! Suddenly the car goes down the hill and I let out a scream! This is scary! I hang onto the bar on my lap so tightly my knuckles turn white! The turns are so sharp I feel like I'm going to fly out! Then the thing drops out from under me! Mr. Ismay hasn't made a single sound, but I'm not taking my eyes off the track ahead to check on him!

When we finally pull into the station, I check Mr. Ismay to make sure he hasn't had a heart attack and died. Luckily for the both of us, I believe he still has a pulse, but he looks very flustered. When we get back on the street he takes out his pocket watch "That's" he takes a deep breath to calm himself "That's enough rides for today don't you think so?" he asks. I merely nod "You're quite pale, why don't we sit down?" he asks. To that, I also nod, my legs feel like jelly!

It's beginning to grow a bit late, as the sun sets over the ocean, the bright colorful lights of Coney Island flash on. They're so dazzling! I can't even describe them really! There are just so many, it's bright enough to make it seem like it's still daytime, and there are all different colors! Now that we've caught our breath I stand up "Come on Mr. Ismay! There has to be more to do around here!" I say. He stands and takes my hand "Alice! We haven't even seen half of it!".

So the rest of our night is absolute, well, dare I say it, bliss! I finally got to try a hot dog! Which I must say was definately better than a sandwich! Especially with this stuff on it called ketchep, and mustard! Yummy! It was so good I had to have another one after the first! And I also convinced Mr. Ismay to play a game where he had to throw a baseball at some bottles that were stacked. He won a stuffed bear that was white with a red white and blue striped bow tie and a matching vest. After he won it he gave it to me and said that I could keep it! It's very soft! I was almost tempted to tell Mr. Ismay his aim is much better than my father's, the snowball incident coming to mind, but I refrained.

After that, it began to grow late. Our last activity in Coney Island is a carousel with carved wooden horses, much more intricate than the steeplechase horses. Mr. Ismay decided to sit on a bench with my bear while I went on. The other people on the ride with me are trying to play the game where you reached out and grab some little brass rings off a hook. But after a long day, I just like sitting on the horse, petting it's mane and going around and around. It is soothing to say the least, after so much chaos, it's nice to just sit on this wooden horse and not have anything to worry about.

The ride stops and I hop off, giving my wooden steed a pat on the neck I return to Mr. Ismay's side. He stands and sighs, offering me his free arm as he carries my bear in the other. We walk quietly out to the sidewalk, and Mr. Ismay hails a cab to return to the hotel. Once I'm in the seat I sit back and begin falling asleep. Today made me so tired! Mr. Ismay prods me "Did you have a good time today?" he asks me, is he still unsure that I wouldn't like today? I loved today! I'll cherish today forever! I smile and nod, beginning to close my eyes "Today was wonderful" I tell him.

I don't think Mr. Ismay wanted to carry me up to my hotel room, but at least he was decent enough to let me sleep until we reached the hotel. When we get there he shakes me awake and we both head upstairs wordlessly to our own room. The silence is broken when he hands me my bear and bids me goodnight before heading into his room. I enter my own room and close the door behind me, then I have to sigh in irritation! I have to call the stupid maid in here to help me out of this corset! Huffing, I hit the button before placing my bear on the bed and beginning to unpin my hair.

Finally the maid comes and helps me undress. Mr. Ismay got me plenty of day clothes, but he didn't get me a new nightgown, which means I'm stuck with my one that I got off the Titanic in. It's looking a little worn now, but I suppose I won't be wearing it too long. Soon I'll be back in Belfast, just like Mr. Ismay said the other day on our rescue ship! I crawl into bed and hug my bear into my chest. I think I'm going to name him Dip, after the rollercoaster I survived with Mr. Ismay! Wow, I had a good day with Mr. Ismay, and we didn't speak about Titanic not even once! I wonder how long this peaceful time will last? From the camera flashing when we got off the ship, I don't think we have long.

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**Coney Island was pretty happening right? Just gotta point out, the rollercoaster Mr. Ismay and Alice went on was real! I had to do a bit of research for that. Of course, the roller coaster everybody knows from Coney is the Cyclone, but the clyclone wasn't even built at this time! So I had to find a rollercoaster that was real at this time! Also, the carousel I mention is based on a real carousel I rode on in Martha's Vineyard, which is the oldest carousel in America, and used to be on Coney Island. Then the horse race ride they went on, also real, called Steeplechase. That has a weird history to it, but it's very interesting! Coney Island is one of my favorite places at this time period so...**

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I cannot say thank you enough! You guys, *Sniffle* You guys are just amazing! Give yourselves pats on the back! Round of applause! GIVE YOURSELF A COOKIE! You deserve it! Keep reviewing!**

**As always, Thanks for Reading! Definately going to be 1 more chapter before the Epilogue! Yay!**


	12. Chapter 12

Things have taken a turn for the absolute worst. I don't know how to handle it anymore! I'm all alone in this big stupid city, because Mr. Ismay won't even talk to me! I haven't seen him in days, aside from a picture or two of him in the newspaper. I couldn't read what the paper said about the pictures, but I think the boy trying to sell it was calling Mr. Ismay the biggest coward of the century. This city is terribly mean!

The day after our outing to Coney Island, what seems like forever ago today, Mr. Ismay got a note telling him he had to report to some kind of Inquiry. He told me it would be best if I didn't attend. At first I wasn't sure why he wouldn't want me to attend, but decided it must be for my own good. Maybe it would be boring or something, who knows. I didn't even know what the Inquiry was about. I figured out what was going on after the first day though. When Mr. Ismay got back after that first day of the Inquiry, he went into his room and wouldn't speak to me. I wasn't sure what happened at first, but he must be upset, which probably meant the Inquiry had something to do with Titanic! I left him alone that day.

Three more days passed he still didn't speak to me, and I began to get angry. So much for asking if I needed anything! On the fith day of him not speaking to me, I angrily went to his door and pounded on it until my hand felt like it would break, and I screamed at him to open the door until my voice went hoarse! He even had the nerve to answer my cries through the door, he told me to piss off! How dare he! He can't just abandon me here! The big jerkface! When he told me to piss off I called him some very nasty things through his door. But the last thing I said I believe stung the worst, for both Mr. Ismay and for myself. I was so angry though, and it came out before I could think about it "I hate you Mr. Ismay, you stupid coward! I wish you'd died on the Titanic instead of Mr. Andrews!". With that I gave the door a final angry kick before storming into my room and slamming the door behind me.

I have not been out of my room since. Nobody has bothered me, thank goodness, but it's so lonely being in here. And after all my anger wore off I could do nothing but sob into my pillow! I promised my father I'd be a good girl and then I nearly broke down a man's door and said nasty things just because I wasn't getting my way! Especially that last one, although thinking deeper into it, it is true. I do wish my father was here instead of Mr. Ismay. But do I really wish for Mr. Ismay to have died? No, I wish nobody had died on the Titanic, I wish my father AND Mr. Ismay were here with me in New York. Today is a new day though, at least, I hope it is. So far I haven't had the urge to cry, but then again, it's still rather early in the morning, and I'm thinking about some hurtful things.

As I lie in my bed staring up at the ceiling, a piece of paper sitting on my bedside table catches my eye and drags me away from my painful thoughts. I've been so emotional lately, I must not have noticed it. I sit up and pick up the paper, trying to read it. Wait a moment, this is Joey's address! I recognize his handwriting. That's it! I'll go see Joey like I promised! If anyone can get me feeling better after all this chaos, it'll be him! Maybe today I can get the horse of my dreams! But wait, I'm going to need money for that! And Mr. Ismay has the money, but he won't talk to me.

That isn't going to stop me though! I open my door and march over to his room, I think he's still in there, the Inquiry doesn't start for another hour according to my father's pocket watch, which I checked before coming over here! I knock on the door and call in an absurdly high squeaky voice "Cleaning service!". I press my ear against the door and listen carefully, will he buy it? Will he open the door? Suddenly there's a click and then there's no door holding me up, I fall on my face, but at least I'm in the room!

Mr. Ismay is looking down at me with a surprised look on his face "Alice! What are you doing?" he demands, helping me up. I brush off my nightgown before looking up at him "I need something, but I knew you wouldn't open the door! So I lied!" I reply honestly. He stares at me flabbergasted before clearing his throat "Alright then, what do you want?" he asks. Suddenly I feel a little guilty asking for money, especially after I was so mad at him the other day. I swallow "Money sir" I reply timidly. He turns on his heel and heads across the room to a desk that's covered with papers. He rips open a drawer that is filled to the brim with green paper, he pulls out 2 handfulls and shoves them into me "There, now, if you would please leave I have to get ready to leave soon!".

He pushes me out of his room and slams the door behind me. Fine then! I have to leave soon too! I head back over to my room and put the money on my bed, carefully sorting through it. This currency is different than what we have in Ireland, I don't know how much this is! I suppose it's a lot though, I quickly call for the maid and begin rummaging through the boxes to see if I can find a bag of some kind to carry all this American currency in! By the time I find one, the maid is knocking at my door and I quickly let her in. I know what to expect by now, she's going to ask me what I want to wear. I hand her the bag "Fine something to match this bag!" I tell her.

With my request, she begins going through all the dresses, finding a red and white one. She makes quick work dressing me too, which is nice. I just want to get out and find Joey! When she finishes I grab my bag of American money and practically run out of the room down to the lobby of the hotel. How do I get to this address anyway? I don't know how to read it really, and even if I could read it, I don't know how to get around this strange city! I suppose I'll have to catch a cab and hope he can get me there! I step out onto the street, it's so busy! But it's so early in the morning, actually, I reach into my coat pocket and check my father's pocket watch, it's only 10.

Now, which one of these is a cab? Is it these yellow ones? I timidly walk up to one parked outside the hotel, opening the back door and stepping in. The driver turns around "First time in the big city little lady?" he asks. I nod nervously and hand him the paper with the address "Don't be so nervous! I'll get you where you want to be, this is a cab. But uh, are you sure this is the right address?" he asks, looking down at the paper "This is in the slums! No place for a first class lady like yourself". I nod "It's right, I uh, met a friend on my trip to New York, that's the address he gave me" I tell him. He shrugs and begins driving.

What is a slum anyway? I wonder what mother would think of me going to this 'slum' that no first class ladies are supposed to be going to. Oh shoot! I still haven't written to mother! She must be panicking because she hasn't heard from my father or from me! Do I have to write a letter though? Maybe I should send a telegram instead, it would be a lot faster! Suddenly the car comes to a stop in front of a dirty looking brick building "Here we are miss" he says. I have to pay don't I? I reach into my bag and begin pulling out bills. How many of these do I give him? I'll give him five! I hand him the bills and he laughs "Miss, you just gave me 500 dollars!" he tells me. Oh, that's a bit much isn't it? I take back four of the bills before getting out before he can stop me. I'm well aware I just gave him 100 dollars, but I think that all Mr. Ismay gave me was hundred dollar bills!

So, now what? I knock on the door of the building and swallow. A kid answers the door, maybe a few years younger than me. He's got a cigarette in his mouth and his dark hair is shaggy and unkempt, practically covering his eyes. He puffs smoke up at me "What can I do ya lady?" he asks, I swallow nervously "I'm lookin for Joey?" I say. He nods and pushes the door open all the way, tramping inside "Hey Joey! Got some rich dame at the door!" he calls. I hear some thumping from upstairs before I see the red head peak down the stairs "Alice! I thought you would never come!" he says cheerfully "Just give me a minute to get ready!".

I decide to just stand quietly and wait. Honestly, I'm a little scared of who I might encounter here. The boy that answered the door didn't really give me any high hopes, what if I get robbed in here? I think I realize now what that cab driver was talking about when he said this was no place for a first class lady! Suddenly a tall fellow with light brown hair wearing a white shirt and brown vest comes into one of the doorways, leaning against it "Hey there. I hear you're here for Joey" he says. I nod and he approaches slowly "Aw, why be here for him. I'm way better than he could ever dream o bein!". Joey finally comes down the stairs "Rooster ya better not be harrassing 'er!" he says with a goofy smile. This man, Rooster I suppose his name is, shrugs "How'd ya manage to get a pretty rich gal Joey? Gals livin on Easy Street are practically impossible to even talk to!".

Easy street? I voice my confusion "What's easy street?" I ask him, he laughs "It's the life you rich folks live! Livin on easy street, means your life is easy! Dressed in the very best" he gestures to my dress "And eatin like a king, or queen. Never havin to work a day in yer life!". I smile "You make it sound like heaven. You know, I used to be poorer than you!" I tell him. Rooster once again laughs "Ain't nobody poorer than me!" he replies. I need to just tell Joey what I want, I didn't come here to socialize with this Rooster fellow, no matter how entertaining he's turning out to be.

"Joey, I want you to take me to Belmont racetrack, to see the claiming races you were talking about!" I tell him. His smile drops slightly "I'm afraid I can't bring ya Alice, otherwise I would" he replies sadly. I tip my head "Why can't you?" I ask him, really, why can't he? He sighs "All the racetracks in New York are closed, racing has been outlawed in this state" he replies sadly. How am I supposed to get the horse now? He takes my arm "Hey, don't get upset! I still know a place to get horses!" he tells me in his usual cheerful way.

With that Joey takes me out and we walk, and walk, and walk! Just when I think I can't walk another step he pulls me around a corner and I'm met by a sea of horses! It's like that book come to life! Horses, all different sizes and colors, all here in this one place! Joey laughs "Like what ya see eh? Come on, I bet we can find a horse like in that pictya right here!" he tells me. With that we begin going down the rows of horses. Some of them are small and cute, sniffing at children's hands as they reach out to pet them, others are massive, if the Titanic were a horse, it would be those ones! Some of them were kicking and pawing at the ground nervously. Each of them wanting a new home, but none of them are the horse from the picture.

Suddenly something catches my eye, a tall grey horse, it's ears pricked and it's eyes bright like stars. It swishes it's black tail and shakes it's pretty head, revealing a white spot hidden by it's black mane. That's it! That's the horse! Right there! I drag Joey over and point at her "This is the one Joey!" I tell him. He looks at the horse, shaking his head "She's heavy with a foal lass, she ain't gonna be any good for ridin" he tells me. I shake my head "I don't care! This is the one Joey!". The man, who I assume is the owner, smiles, oh, um, that's interesting, I didn't know teeth could fall out of adults.

"I see the lady has an eye for fine animals. Give me a thousand and she's yours!" he says, Joey looks like he's going to try to barter over the crazy amount, but I laugh, pulling out ten of those green bills and handing them to the man. Joey stares at the money as though I just pulled solid blocks of gold out of my bag. I turn to him "What's the matter? Get my horse!" I say. He jumps "Oh yea, right! Sorry" he dips into the horse's pen and puts a lead line on it, leading it out behind him. As we begin walking back towards the brick building he watches my horse "What do ya think you're gonna call 'er lass?" he asks me curiously. What am I going to call her? There are so many names to choose from, but I know of one that sticks out of my mind the most "White Star".

Yes, White Star, after the White Star Line. Mr. Ismay techincally payed for her, so therefore I think it would be fitting that she was named after his company that he loves so much. The company my father designed Titanic for. Now that I have the horse though, where am I supposed to keep it? I can't take a horse that is about to have a baby back to Ireland with me. And where in Belfast am I supposed to put her? I really should have thought this all out more. When we reach Joey's house I put a hand on White Star's shoulder, it's my first time touching a real horse! I wish my father was here to share the moment with me, he would have loved this horse. I look at Joey "Can you do something for me Joey?" I ask, he smiles and nods "Can you take care of her for me?" I give him the bag loaded with money "That should be enough to take care of her, and her baby when it comes".

He stares at the money and at the horse for a long time before nodding "She'll be treated like a queen" he replies. Now here we are, I think I'm going to have to bid farewell to my new horse, and to my friend. His face changes "Aw Alice, don't cry!" he tells me, am I crying? I sniffle, I can't help crying, I'm going to miss them so much! He opens his arms and I fall into them "I'm going to miss you Joey" I tell him. He laughs "Nah, it'll be alright. We'll write to each other! Ya?" he asks. I nod "Yes! I'll write to you!" I tell him "I promise!". He suddenly pulls away "Well ya betta tell me where ta send the letter to then!" he tells me. I have to think for a moment before I can finally tell him.

Now that everything's settled, I turn to White Star, my new prize. I got her so quickly, almost thoughtlessly, and now I'm leaving her in Joey's more than capable hands. I trust him, he'll take good care of my pretty horse. I stroke her nose and she nuzzles my hand. What a sweetheart! Father used to call me sweetheart, I sniffle and wrap my arms around her neck, beginning to cry a little into her grey coat. I don't look at Joey, but I'm sure he's very confused as to why I'm crying again. Suddenly I feel his hand on my back "I know you must miss yer pa, he seemed like a greay guy. But he wouldn't want ya cryin! He's want ya embracin life! He'd want ya to get out there in the world and live life to the fullest! He did, now it's yer turn!" he tells me.

It takes a moment for it all to sink in, but when it does, I realize he's absolutely right! I should live life to the fullest! My father did, now I should carry on what he did, and live the best life I can! I turn back to Joey and hug him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek "I have to go back, to easy street now" I say. We both laugh over Rooster's idea of the rich life. "Goodbye Joey" I finally say. He smiles a big smile "Goodbye Miss Alice, glad to have met ya!" he replies in his usual fashion. I turn back to White Star and give her a peck on the nose before heading down the street. Joey calls out to me "Hey!", I turn "You're going the wrong way!" he tells me. I laugh and begin walking the opposite direction.

Since I gave all my money to Joey to take care of White Star, I have to walk all the way back to the hotel. By the time I get there, it's dark out. Of course the city itself is illuminated by many lights, so it doesn't feel as dark. I'm just glad I wasn't jumped on my way back here, there were some shady areas I had to go through before a nice man finally gave me proper directions. I'm so tired from all this walking! In these shoes! In this corset! I just want to go sleep for a week! And I'd be able to too, since Mr. Ismay still won't talk to me. I'm sure he'd go back across the ocean without me if his guilty conscience would allow it!

When I step into the lobby of the hotel, I'm confronted by a sight that is both confusing and heartbreaking at the same time. Mr. Ismay is sitting in one of the plush chairs, he looks like he's trying to hide tears. Should I approach him? I walk up to him slowly and the closer I get, the more confused and upset I become. I touch his shoulder "Mr. Ismay?" I ask. His eyes snap up and meet mine, he looks terribly upset about something. He jumps up suddenly and wraps his arms around me "Don't leave again! I thought you'd run away and I'd lost you! I'm sorry how I treated you this morning, and that I have been neglectent! Please don't leave!" he practically sobs. I don't want to cause a scene in the middle of this place, I take his hand and begin leading him to the lifts "It's alright Mr. Ismay" I tell him, giving him a reassuring smile and squeezing his hand, it seems to sooth his nerves.

Neither of us says a word until we get back up to the safety of our cabins. Even then, few words are spoken. We both apologize for our poor behavior towards one another, and decide in this time of grief we both need to stick together. One he leaves the room I call the maid to change me for bed. I hardly pay any mind to her as she helps me out of my corset and leaves the room. I pull Dip the beat to my chest and close my eyes to think about what Mr. Ismay said before he left me for the night, we're heading home tomorrow.

* * *

**Was eager to get this chapter out quickly because I have to pack my laptop up. I'm leaving on a band trip to Virginia Beach tomorrow! Don't worry though, the Epilogue is already partially written, when I get a free moment I'll definately finish it up and post it! I'll be especially modivated because on the 7 hour bus ride down I'm going to be reading 'Thomas Andrews, Shipbuilder'. I'll probably add lots of tidbits from that into my story, especially a certain little thing I learned in chapter one concerning little Tommie and a Shetland Pony. **

**I'm really sad to see this fanfiction end. It's one of my favorites! Actually, this just might BE my favorite fanfiction I've ever written! It's not perfect by any means of the word, but I just love it. I've loved researching Titanic and Thomas Andrews, and yes I've even enjoyed researching Mr. Ismay, which I had to do extensively for the later chapters!**

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I love you reviewer people so much! Special thanks to CatalynMJ88, virtual cupcakes for you! Also, might as well mention, I loved your fic. Anyone who hasn't read it yet, 'Yours, Tommie' is awesome! Go read it!**

**As always, thanks for reading! Only one more chapter to go!**


	13. Chapter 13

It has been many, many decades since I arrived home in Belfast after leaving New York with Mr. Ismay. Yet, even after all this time I can still remember everything as though it happened yesterday. I remember we went from New York to England first, and when we got there Mr. Ismay was bombarded by press and told he had to go to yet another inquiry. So, he bought me a ticket to Belfast, and with a final kiss on the hand bid me farewell, and good luck.

When I arrived in Belfast, there were a few people waiting for me. My mother wasn't there, but I recognized most of them as workers from the shipyard. They all knew me, from trailing my father every once in a while as he examined Titanic's progress. All of them took their hats off to me and watched me in silence as I walked to a waiting cab and stepped in. I had to try very hard not to cry in front of all of them, my heart ached so much though. My father loved these workers, he loved all his workers, like they were his best friends, his brothers!

The cab ride home was actually shorter than I wanted it to be. I was a little nervous and afraid to face my mother, would she be angry at me? Upset? Well of course she would be upset, but what would things be like without Mr. Andrews? What if she threw me out? I stepped out of the cab, took my suitcase, and tramped up the walkway and up to the front door. I wasn't sure what to do, so I knocked at the door and waited. After what seemed like forever, my mother answered the door.

She stared at me, in shock, as though she were seeing a ghost. It was at that moment I realized I'd never gotten around to writing her, or sending her a message of any sort telling her I was alright. I was sure she knew by then my father was gone, but she must have assumed I went down with him. She turned very pale and I was very afraid she would faint on the floor, so I pushed my way in and closed the door behind me. Reaching out, I took Mrs. Andrews' shaking hands "Mother, mother it's me, Alice" I told her gently, leading her to one of the chairs to sit down. She wouldn't sit though, she just continued staring at me.

Suddenly she burst into hysterical sobs and pulled me into her, running her hands through my hair "Alice! I thought you were dead!" she choked out. I finally managed to get her to sit on the couch, while I sat next to her "Mother, I'm alright" I told her. Through her tears she asked me so many questions, I tried to answer them as best I could, but it was hard to understand because she was crying so hard. I felt tears trail down my own cheeks, I wanted my father here, I wanted him to have Mrs. Andrews in his arms, I wanted him tell her he loved her, that he'd be with her always. I didn't want to be the one who had to say the message for him, but that was his dying request, and I would honor it.

I kissed my mother on the cheek and told her about father, how he had sent me away with that heartfelt message. I told her I wanted to die with him, but didn't go any further than that because it made her cry harder. What was I to do? I had no idea! So I merely sat there, trying to get mother to calm down. Finally she did, she composed herself as best she could. I wanted to get off the subject of father, so I asked her where Elba was.

Mother choked up a little bit once more, "She's upstairs" she told me. Obviously my mother wasn't going to get up off the couch at that moment, so I gave her hand a final reassuring squeeze before standing and running upstairs. I wanted to see Elba, I wanted to see her more than anything! She wouldn't cry! She was too young to understand, at least I hoped she was.

When I entered her room, she was sitting on the floor playing with one of her dolls. She saw me and her face lit up, she then said something that broke my heart "Awice!". I'd asked her to be able to say my name when I returned, and now she has said it. I couldn't cry in front of Elba though, it would have upset her! I knelt down in front of her and she stood up, running up to me and giving me a big hug "Awice! I miss'd you!" she told me. I swallowed back tears and told her I missed her too. Suddenly she looked behind me "Where's Daddy?" she asked. Why she had to make things so hard, I still don't know, but I continued fighting the tears as I spoke to her "He's, well Elba, you see, he's here. It's just that, you can't see him anymore".

Her face became confused "Why nawt?" she asked me, oh I wished Elba still couldn't talk. I can't remember exactly what I told her, but I definately remember explaining to her that even though she couldn't see her father, he was with her all the time, and he loved her very much. She accepted that answer, for most of her childhood, she believed it was true. She believed it in the most literal sense! About a year or two later I remember walking past her bedroom door and hearing her ask her father if he wanted more tea. Peaking in through the door, I saw she had a little table set up, with four little tea cups on the table. One was for her, one was for one of her dolls, one was for her stuffed giraffe named Ludwig, and the last place was empty, but she was addressing it, as though her father sat there drinking tea with her and her other little friends. I went into my room very upset after I saw that.

Mother told me not to speak about my father for a full year after I came home. Instead she tried to distract me from his absence by starting my lessons again. I showed her the page of the horse book I read to my father on Titanic, and I read it aloud to her one Sunday afternoon. She was very proud of me, it was one of the first times I saw her smile after the tragedy. I decided not to tell her where the page of the book came from, or who I first read it to. She probably just assumed I found it somewhere. I also didn't tell her about my father's journal, or his pocket watch. After his death she began collecting up his things, hiding them away so Elba wouldn't see them. The only object of his that she didn't hide away, was the ring he gave her when he proposed. A saphire surrounded by little diamonds, she wore it until the day she died.

I find it funny to this day that she cherished that ring so. After all, when my father first proposed she was stunned into silence, and didn't exactly give him the answer he wanted. I remember finding the letter he wrote her the day after his failure, and having my heart break as I read his words. Written in his perfect scroll, he said 'My dear Nellie, I cannot tell you how much it grieves me to feel that I frightened you or gave you any annoyance last night. Had I for one moment thought that we did not understand each other all these years, since we first met, that you did not love me' I was crying by that moment, my poor father! There was another line further in the letter that hurt me too, 'I am alone to blame'. I am sure that he was thinking that as the Titanic sank, it broke my heart to read it in his hand writing.

Five years after Mr. Andrews' death, my mother married again. I was 21 years old at the time, and Elba was 7. I did not, under any circumstances, want to leave the current house to move in with my mother's new husband, Elba didn't want to leave either. But Mother forced the both of us out, and that was when things between the three of us began to fall apart. Me and Elba never hated our mother, of course we loved her, it's just that we felt betrayed that she would marry again. I remember Elba asking me while Mother was out on her honeymoon "Doesn't Mommy love Daddy anymore?". I told her Mother loved Father very much, I couldn't tell her why she married someone else though, Elba still believed her Father was with her.

When Elba turned ten years old I began wanting to leave Ireland to see the rest of the world. Mother was absolutely against it, and many fights broke out between us over my staying. I told her I wanted to go out and live my life, I was an adult. I wanted to do what Joey and Mr. Andrews wanted me to do, go out and live life to the fullest. Staying with my mother, I wasn't living my life to the fullest! Mother was very smart though, and craftily set up for a young suitor to come to the house, a suitor I fell in love with and eventually married.

Of course he was a very wealthy man, my mother wouldn't settle for anything less, but he was so like me in so many ways. For starters, he was a bit of a wild man, if someone told him to do something he'd do it, no matter how crazy. When I asked him why he did insane things and he told me 'you only live once'. From those words alone, I knew he was the one! But there were more things that made me love him, his gentle blue eyes, his charmingly goofy smile, and his kind personality were just a few things. Really, he reminded me of Joey, he had a lot of the same goofy, childish qualities, he just had a lot more class than Joey could ever dream of.

So I married him, and became Mrs. William Donnelly. And because I married him, I ended up staying in Ireland much to my Mother's delight, and Elba's as well. Elba was very upset when I told her I'd be marrying and leaving the house, but I promised her she could visit as often as she liked, and she definately took me up on my offer, trying to get to my house almost every Sunday. Mother would accompany her most of the time, but when Elba got a little older she was able to come by herself, the two of us were very happy about that!

My new home had a lot of open space, and William had a stable with a couple of horses. One day as I was writing to Joey an idea popped into my head. White Star could come to live with me here! In Ireland! I could finally keep her! I scrapped the letter I'd been writing and started over, asking him if White Star was in condition to travel. I knew she'd delivered her baby a while ago, a little black son with a white spot on his head just like his mother's. When Joey had written to me and asked me what I wanted to call him, I answered his letter with one word, 'Unsinkable'.

Joey answered my letter telling me that White Star would be perfectly fit to travel, however, he wanted to keep Unsinkable in America, to race him. I decided after everything Joey did for me, and since he was one of my dearest friends, that he could keep the little horse. Who knew, maybe Unsinkable would become a champion! Little less than a month later White Star arrived on my doorstep, and I could not stop petting her neck for almost an hour after we got her into the stall. William told me she was a pretty little horse, and asked me if I knew how to ride. I told him I'd never learned, and he quickly set to teaching me.

I learned how to ride White Star, and the feeling of being on the back of a horse was one of the greatest feelings in the world! I was sure my father would be proud of me for learning how to ride a horse, and what was more, I rode the horse with one leg on either side! And William taught me how to jump White Star over fences and piles of stones and fallen trees! Everything became an obstacle to jump over! And jump those obstacles we did! When we didn't jump, we simply galloped across the countryside, I felt free of any and all burdens or guilt when I rode White Star.

Me and William had five children together, I was so happy to have lots of children! I wanted to be the best parent I could be, I wanted to make sure my children had the childhood I never got. Also having a family of my own, I realized what my father must have felt on the Titanic, knowing he'd never see Elba ever again, knowing he'd never see me again. I know I wouldn't have been able to do what my father did, I wouldn't have been able to resist getting in the lifeboat, if only to see my child smile one more time. If only to have my spouse in my arms again! He was so strong, and sometimes when I watched my children playing in the garden, I strongly wished he could be there to see them.

My first son, Thomas, is as gentle as his namesake. He always wanted to help others, in fact he met his wife when she accidently fell into a fountain and he dove in after her to save her. Thomas became a doctor in England, and is well respected. My second son, Joseph, was always a little quirky, he became an artist and moved to Paris, France. He write to me often, and always sends me a sketch or two of some of the things he has seen or done. He tells me that there are so many pretty french girls, it is difficult to choose the one to stay with forever. I still hope one day he realizes there's more to it than a pretty face.

Then there are my three daughters, Samantha, Rose, and Nellie. Samantha was much like Thomas in the sense she was gentle, and good natured. She found a stray puppy once and insisted on nursing it back to health. The little golden pup became known as 'Jip', and where ever Samantha went, the little pup was sure to be right by her side. My second daughter, Rose, was a wild child! She was defiant, and unhappy when she had to act proper during social gatherings. Try as William did to get her to fall in love with a man that had a lot of money, she fell for a gambler in New York, and the two of them ended up eloping to Chicago, which we didn't find out about until 5 years later when Rose finally sent me a letter, saying she was sorry for running off, but she loved her husband and wanted to be happy. After five years of thinking she'd been kidnapped or even murdered, we accepted the marriage.

My youngest child, dear Nellie. She was quiet, always quiet, but very close to her brothers, especially Thomas. I had to hold back tears whenever I saw them out in the garden together, Thomas holding little Nellie's hand as he showed her different flowers that were beginning to bloom in the spring. Nellie was heartbroken when Thomas had to leave for medical school, and was overjoyed when he came home for Christmas and other holidays. She married eventually, a boy was was her complete opposite! He was outgoing, and he brought out the best in Nellie, he did!

So I believe I can definately say I have lived my life to the fullest! Each year has seemed better than the last in my eyes. Though I got older, I don't feel my age. The only thing that shows me how old I am, is the outside world! I mean, girls can wear pants now, PANTS! I felt a bit angry when skirts began to get shorter and shorter, but then girls were allowed to wear pants, and I was furious. All that time and effort learning how to be a lady, dealing with corsets and all those things, only to find that not even ten years later they're not in fashion anymore? It was absurd!

There have been good things about the changing times though! Radios, television, telephones that could call across the ocean. The telephone thing was convenient for talking to Joey, but we only talked on the phone once a year because it's rather expensive. It was always good to hear his voice, even the year he had to tell me Unsinkable died at the ripe old age of 21. White Star had died of old age by then as well, after many years of love she'd gone quietly in her pasture one night.

Horses aside, I've outlived a lot of people, including Joey. He died about ten years ago, he fell off a horse. Can't say I'm not surprised, he would tell me he was too old to be riding horses, let alone still racing them. He only raced for fun, that's what he claimed. I suppose I'm happy that he went that way, it was probably short and quick, and he died doing what he loved. About a year later Elba died in a car accident, my heart still hasn't recovered from the loss. She was on her way home from a job in Dublin when it happened, I cried nonstop for a week after. I still cry sometimes when I come across little drawings or things that she gave me. I even have Ludwig the giraffe, who is sitting on a shelf next to Dip, the bear Mr. Ismay won me so many years ago.

Poor Mr. Ismay, he had a hard life after he got back to England. He quickly retired and actually moved to the west coast of Ireland. I made sure to visit him when I could, I believe he was very lonely. He'd never been one who would willingly live a sheltered life. Also, his wife made it so he wasn't allowed to talk about Titanic, ever, even though all that was ever on his mind, was that ship. I'd visit him, when his wife wasn't around, and I'd let him talk about the ship. We'd talk about Titanic as though we were still on it, and I know he was grateful to me even to the end. He got very sick and died in London about 20 years after the Titanic disaster. Sure he was old, but I feel like if the press hasn't been so cruel he would have lived longer.

Mother died too, I sat with her when she was on her death bed. It was not by any means a pleasant experience, but it was certainly a quick one. I noted with great saddness that she died not very far away from our old house in Belfast. When she died I went though most of her things and took anything and everything belonging to my father, and a few things of hers as well. While I was going through all those things, a thought occured to me, after all these years, I had not yet read my father's journal. It sat in a box, along with his pocket watch and the page I tore from the horse book, under my bed.

When I got home after my mother's funeral, I opened the box and pulled the jounal out, opening it to the first page and beginning to read. Each page filled me with emotion, he wrote about Titanic so vividly it was as though I were still on it. He noted every little imperfection, even silly things like the number of screws in a hat rack! But the most interesting part, was that at the end of every day's notes during the voyage, he wrote something about me! The most heartfelt things too, his fears when I'd gone missing because I went below with Joey, his happiness that I'd been able to read that page in the book, his excitement to take me to New York and show me a horse race. I learned so much from that journal, about the way he saw the world. The only thing that educated me about my father more than that, was the biography someone wrote about him, which was the first real book I ever read.

The book told me a lot of things I already knew, like what he did at the yard and his bravery on Titanic, what it taught me about was things like his little shetland pony! I didn't know he had a pony! I asked Mr. Andrews' parents about it when me and Mother visited one day and they told all sorts of stories about him and that pony. And I loved every minute of them telling me about young Tommie Andrews, leading his pony around through the gardens and picking carrots for him. Stories about him practically crying when his pony got a little scratch from a nail sticking out in the fence. Then they told me other stories, they had so many stories to tell that it took them all day just to tell me every single one they could think of, all about Mr. Andrews!

I learned about his life, that he lived to the fullest just as Joey told me. And it makes me positive I've lived mine to the fullest as well. Now I'm lying here in bed, on the 74th anniversery of the ship sinking. I'm a little afraid to go to sleep, because every year on the anniversery I have the same dream I had on the Carpathia, the one where I'm standing in the smoking room with my father while the ship sinks. Even though I expect it every time, it's still frightening.

As I close my eyes, reopen them and realize that I am indeed on the Titanic once more. Only this time, I'm standing on one of the promanade decks. I look out to the ocean, the sky is blue and everything is perfectly fine. That's odd, I look down at my hands. I'm young again, although usually when I'm in this dream I'm still 16, this time I'm a little bit older, about the same age I married William actually. I look around the deck some more, nobody's out here. Maybe if I go walking I'll find someone! I begin my stroll down the deck. This is kinda peaceful actually! I also take notice that I'm wearing a really pretty white dress, I haven't worn a dress like this since, well since my wedding day!

I think I hear people! It's coming from the doors that lead to the grand staircase. As I turn to go in the door, two men open them for me, smiling brightly. This is very odd, and I feel a little nervous as I walk into the grand staircase. There are a lot of people here, more than I think are supposed to be in here! I recognize them all too! There are the musicians who played until the end, and the steward who I made open the gate in third class while the boat was sinking, and there's John Jacob Astor and Madeliene, with their dog who I assume is Kitty. And there are the people I met in third class that night when I went down with Joey! And Mr. Ismay! Oh Mr. Ismay! He looks so happy! Mother and Elba are standing there with him! I want to stop and hug them, but they nod towards the staircase with encouraging smiles.

At the bottom of the staircase is Joey, smiling his usual big goofy smile, looking just as he did when the ship sank. I stop in front of him but he motions for me to go up the stairs. I do, not even bothering to look up them. I'm too busy taking in all the people here. When I finally do lift my head though, I see my father standing there waiting for me, and just like everyone else, he's smiling. I practically run up the rest of the stairs and into his arms, burying my face into his shoulder. In my dreams I could never reach him, now here he is! Just like before! I begin to cry and my father hushes me "Alice, sweetheart everything is alright. Don't cry" he tells me. I sniffle "Oh Daddy! I missed you!" I tell him, I love him so much and now to finally have him here! I've waited practically my whole life to see him again!

He chuckles, the sound of his voice is so reassuring "I missed you too darling. But you don't have to miss me anymore. I'm here, like I've always been" he tells me. Had he really been with me all my life? I don't know, and right now I don't care! He's here! With me! And everyone else is here too! Looking up, the upper levels have even more people! The captain and all the officers are there, and William! My darling William is here too! Everyone's here! But wait a moment, all these people here with me, they're dead. Does that mean I'm dead? Is this what heaven is? Titanic?

It would make sense that Titanic would be our heaven, wouldn't it? It was the ship of dreams, an 8th wonder of the universe! Why wouldn't it be? I nuzzle my face into Mr. Andrews' jacket and he kisses the top of my head "Daddy, are we going to be on Titanic forever?" I ask him suddenly. He laughs "Of course Alice, God himself won't sink this ship!" he tells me. My father never lies, if he says this ship won't sink, then I know it won't. We'll simply sail on, and nothing will ever separate us again, ever.

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**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING! I absolutely love this fic, and it was so hard to see it end. I think I ended it really well though, yes I ripped off the ending to the movie, but the very last line is actually the last line from the movie 'Black Beauty'. **

**Just a bit of trivia, the writing from Thomas' letter to Helen is word for word the first two paragraphs or so of the real letter. There's a video on youtube about Thomas Andrews (Search BBC News Thomas Andrews) which has footage of the letter and there's a voice that reads some of it, but not all of it. I paused the video on pictures of the letter and copied it. To be honest, Mr. Andrews' writing is kinda hard to read! I'm sure if I had the read letter in my hand I'd be able to, but on the video, it's difficult! Although I will say his writing is a LOT neater than mine! Also, the engagement ring is really a saphire with diamonds, you can see that in the same video!**

**Also some Elba trivia, she really did die in a car accident. I find that incredibly sad that both she and her father both died in such tragic circumstances, very suddenly. Also, 'Ludwig' the giraffe is in because Elba closely studied giraffes in Kenya. Only thing I didn't include was that she was the first women to recieve an airplane pilot license in Northern Ireland. Wanted to add it, but it just didn't fit anywhere!**

**Once again, thank you all so much for the reviews and everything! This is my favorite fanfiction by far! Thanks for Reading it! Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! And don't forget to review this final chapter! ;)**


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